After Bimpe's text message I cried till midnight, the whole world appeared to be

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****After Bimpe's text message*******

I cried till midnight, the whole world appeared to be

crumbling before me. I suddenly lost appetite for

everything and the thoughts of suicide began to fill

my heart.

My memory flashed back to the stress, hustle and

struggles I went through for five years at the

university before obtaining the certificate, I began to

remember all the stress I went through during NYSC,

I also remembered how I squeezed out time out of

no time to attend java and oracle classes, I

remembered the stress of writing the professional

exams before finally getting the results.

"Chai!!!!, Adebimpe wicked gan ni oooo"

After a while, my mind stopped flashing back to the

past and it began to think about the future. I started

consoling myself with the thoughts that "after all, I

can easily re-apply for another certificates", but how

will that be possible before thursday evening that I

would have to travel to Ado?.

***weeping and biting my finger****

"Chaii, Adebimpe is just wicked"

"Did I really deserved this extreme punishment?"

" What do I do before thursday?"

"Should I call my uncle to tell him that I don't have

my results with me?"

"How will I even say it sef?"

"How do I even reach bimpe and beg her, who knows,

maybe should would forgive me"

"Who knows maybe she had set my certificates on


"Will I just loose this chance of getting a better job


"Will my uncle ever be willing to assist me anymore?"

"I just wished I checked my credentials properly

before leaving the hospital".

Infact, I regretted once again for travelling to niger

state for the GNLD interview.

I continued murmuring and crying all through the

night with nobody to talk to, At a point in time, I

thought of calling segun but I couldn't. I was

seriously angry and mad at him. He was the one who

pushed me and led to bimpe's "hard-way" treatment

in the first place. Bimpe shouldn't have gone to this

extreme if he hadn't chased her out when she was

here with me in Akure.

Another thought started overlapping my mind. I began

to see the whole things as the handiwork of my step-


"That woman must be a witch"

"She had never wanted my progress since child hood"

Why must my certificate be stolen at this time that I

needed it for a big job?"

Moments after, another thought came into my mind

that it must be the handiwork of the people from my


"I could remember how my dad used to tell me that

the village people can bring people down in the spirit


Different thoughts began to overlap my brain as I

continued attaching the situation to every possible

circumstances. I looked at the wall clock and the

time is 3:48am and yet I couldn't sleep.

"Chaiii, I swear to God, I will personally kill Adebimpe

any time I set my eyes on her again"

I began to nurse evil thoughts on how to harm

adebimpe. I wish I knew her contacts and address, I

wouldn't mind paying hired killers to kill her.

inshort, I must take my own revenge also in a hard


"This is definitely the Beginning of the end between

me and bimpe"

Its 6am on wednesday morning, I was feeling so

weak, sad, heart broken and depressed. My eyes

were all swollen and my joints were so weak, I knew

it that if I go to work that day, I would be so sad and

it would be so obvious on my face, but I couldn't

excuse myself from work because I didn't inform my

boss the previous day, I thought of travelling to Abuja

that Wednesday morning maybe I could get to see

bimpe, who knows, she might be in abuja and

pretending to be in lagos. But I had a second thought,

"What if I couldn't find her in Abuja?"

"Do I even know where to locate her?"

"What if she had destroyed the certificates?"

"What would be my gain if I couldn't return with the


At that moment, I just wished I have a black magic to

command the credentials to disappear from wherever

it is and re-appear in my room. I began to think of

locating a powerful herbalist who could help me to

summon and command the credentials. My mind and

head were just fill with different thoughts as they are

coming and overlapping.

I needed someone to talk to and segun couldn't be

the person due to the fact that I was still so angry

with him. In fact, I don't feel like seeing him again. If

he hadn't pushed me to treat bimpe badly earlier,

who knows, she wouldn't have gone to the extreme

on me.

I went to the bathroom to have my shower and I

dressed up. I couldn't eat anything as a result of my

lost of appetite for any food. I just managed to cheer

up and proceeded to work.

I got to work and I was so moody. I refused to talk

and associate with anyone as sadness was all

written on my face. Segun was calling me but I

refused to pick up, after several missed calls from

segun, I decided to switch off my phone and force

myself to concentrate on my job.

I closed from work in the evening and went home

straight. On getting home, I saw segun seated on the

bench infront my compound. As I approached him, I

was so annoyed and furious within me, I just felt like

hitting a plank on his head. I walked pass him and he

greeted me but I ignored. I entered into my room and

he followed me inside.

SEGE: bro, wetin happen?, you just dey ignore my

calls since yesterday, I was feeling uncomfortable

and I decided to visit, you still ignored me. Why?

ME: ***raised eye brow*** why won't I ignore you

segun?. WHY?

SEGE: what have I done wrong onihaxy?

ME: so you don't know what you did wrong abi?

SEGE: **pats me on my shoulder** we are no more

friends but brothers, if there is anything wrong, why

not just tell me?.

ME: Are you not the cause of all the atrocities I'm

facing from Adebimpe?

SEGE: my brother, how?

ME: you dey ask me how?. If you hadn't pushed me

to hurt this girl in the first place, this wouldn't have


SeGE: I'm so sorry about that onihaxy, if you say I

was wrong, then I admit it, though I never knew I was

wrong by teaching her a lesson.

ME: which lesson?.

SEGE: she is a prostitute and a scammer onihaxy!!,

don't you get it?. She used your money to travel

down here to visit another guy.

ME: and I'm here paying for the consequences sebi?.

SeGE: I'm so sorry about that, let's put that aside

and let's focus on how to solve the problem at hand.

Tomorrow is thursday that you are supposed to travel

for your new job, how do we go about it?, that is why

I'm here.

ME: Mr segun, there is no solution as I couldn't

retrieve my credentials, so I can't travel anymore.

SEGE: haaa!!, so what do we do next now?

ME: ***frowned*** nothing, you can go now.

SEGE: are you chasing me out of your house


ME: segun. I am not only chasing you, this Friendship

is over!!!, let me just face my destiny alone abeg,

SEGE: ***moves closer to pat me on my shoulder***

ME: ***removes his hand***

SEGE: onihaxy!!!

ME: **yelled*** ehn ehn!!!!, what happen!!!!!?

SEGE: we have been friends now, its close to 8 years

ME: and what does that teaches us?

SEGE: it teaches us that we have gone too far to

split up.

ME: thats none of my business

SEGE: ok, even if we must break up, we must first

find a solution to the present problem first.

ME: **screamed** ogbeni, sebi you heard me, there

is no solution!!!, you can go.

SEGE: onihaxy, calm down, I will never leave you like

this and I will never leave this place until this thing is

resolved. If you like, go and call police for me or get

me arrested, I won't leave here.

ME: ***ignored him***

SEGE: that reminds me, I think I have found an

alternative solution

ME: ***began to smile gradually***

SEGE: that's my nigga. You are always handsome in

that smile.

ME: sege talk to me jaree, what is the alternative?.

SEGE: before I shipped in the alternative, why not try

bimpe's number again whether it will go through

ME: it doesn't go through since 1960

SEGE: werey!!!, just try am first jaree.

ME: ok ***stretched my hands to my bag and brings

out my phone and switched it on***

SEGE: oloshi!!!, so you switched off your phone

before?, no wonder the thing no dey reachable since

afternoon wey I don dey call.

ME: ***switched on my phone and saw an envelope

sign followed by a message tone*** e be like say I

get message

SEGE: ***hissed, na those silly MTN people, dem no

dey let person rest, na so so silly messages dem dey

send. Abeg try her number jaree.

ME: ** opened the inbox and noticed a familiar

number*** sege, no be MTN oooo, na from a familiar


SEGE: ok, maybe na one of your concubine

ME** I read the first line which says "its me

bimpe"**** sege!

SEGE: ehn!!!

ME: na from bimpe oo

SEGE: really?, wetin she talk?

Segun came closer and we sat together to read the

message which says

"Onihaxy, its me adebimpe, if you still need your

credentials, deposit a sum of 200,000 naira to the

account name and number below, as soon as I

confirm your deposit, I will give you a call and send

the credentials to you via a public transport, if you try

anything funny, you will be the one to suffer the

consequences, bye and take care".

ME: what!!!!!!!!

SEGE: 200,000 what!!!!, where do we get such

amount between now and tomorrow?

ME: what do we do now?

SEGE: I'm clueless onihaxy.

Me: segun, today is wednesday and I have to travel

for this job tomorrow, where will I get 200k now?

SEGE: onihaxy calm down, getting the 200k isn't the


ME: why is it not an issue?

SEGE: Adebimpe is the major issue

ME: how?

SEGE: can't you see it clearly that this is a blackmail


ME: I still don't understand

SEGE: the way I'm seeing it, Adebimpe will never

send any credentials to you even if you pay a million


ME: why did you say so?

SEGE: someone who is so desperate for a revenge

and even went to the extreme of having your vital

credentials in her custody, why should we trust her

when it comes to money?

ME: hmmmmmmmm. "Ayemi ooooo, Temi bami".

SeGE: onihaxy, come to think of it, someone who

switched off her phone all this while and only send

text once in a while, it is so obvious that she would

switch off again after getting the deposit alert.

ME: it seems you are right. So what do we do now?.

SEGE: let's do it this way. Call her number first and

let's negotiate with her.

ME: ok **dialled her number***

SEGE: is it going through?

ME: ***phone: the number you have dialled is unable

to receive call****

Its saying unable to receive call, what does that


SEGE: it means she barred all incoming calls. You

see what I was saying?, this girl don upgrade to

"blackmail business"

ME: **wanted to cry** segun please come to my aid,

my world is crumbling, what do I do?.

SEGE: calm down onihaxy, I just thought of


ME: what is that?

SEGE: you remembered that you scanned your

credentials and sent to a particular firm you applied

to in lagos few months ago.

ME: oooh yes I remember!!!, how about it?

SEGE: yes, we will make a coloured printout and


ME: will it look like the real one?

SEGE: at least 80% real

ME: so how do we go about it?

SEGE: the time is just 8pm. Let's rush down to the

cafe down the street to make the print outs

ME: Are we still going to find a cafe by this time?

SeGE: hopefully, we should.

ME: but I don't have much on me at the moment

SEGE: don't worry, I still have like 1k on me.

ME: ok, how about the original credentials with

Adebimpe?, am I going to forget it just like that?

SEGE: my guy, when we find a successful alternative,

then we can now talk about how to retrieve the one

your wife is holding.

ME: which wife be that?

SEGE: your lovely Adebimpe **laughed**

ME: you no well, the girl wey be say I go kill any day

I see her

SEGE: the onihaxy that I know will always fall again

and again on Adebimpe's lap anyday anytime.

ME: **laughs**. Seriously sege. You know well

SEGE: na lie?

ME: honestly, e be like say that girl dey use charm on

me sef.

SEGE: no be charm, na her juicy honeypot dey kill


ME: abeg forget bimpe matter jaree. Let's go to the

cafe first.

SEGE: ok

We walked out of the room and I locked my door, we

walked down the street and found out that the cafe

had closed. We trekked to the next cafe and we

found out that it had been closed also.

ME: sege, what do we do now?,

SEGE: maybe till tomorrow be that.

ME: ok,

I saw segun off and I returned back to my house. I

felt relieved and eased. I began to get hungry and

regaining appetite for food. I dropped my phone on

my bed and went to my kitchen to prepare noodles. I

was about to empty the sachet of the noodles into

the pot when my phone was ringing. I rushed to see

who is calling and it was my uncle. I picked up the


ME: hello sir

UNCLE: aburo, how are you?

ME: I'm fine sir

UNCLE: ehn ehn. My chairman said he is travelling by

10am tomorrow morning,

ME: haaa,

UNCLE: you know what that means?

ME: no sir

UNCLE: you have to follow early morning bus. You

must be here latest 8am in the morning so that he

can attend to you before travelling.

ME: ok sir. Thank you very much sir.

UNCLE: ***hanged up*****

I suddenly lost appetite again and I began to

soliloquies, "this must be the handiwork of the people

from my village".

After few minutes of soliloquies, I looked up to the

wall and the time was few minutes to 10pm. What

will I do now?, I have nobody else to talk to apart

from segun. I picked my phone to chat with him.

ME: sege, how you dey?

SEGE: I dey fine ooo. Hope you don dey prepare for

your interview?.

ME: prepare kee?, wahala don dey ooo

SEGE: wetin happen?

ME: my uncle just called me now.

SEGE: na wetin him talk?. He say the job no sure


ME: he talk say the chairman dey travel tomorrow

morning by 10am. So I must reach b4 8am.

SEGE: haa!!, how you go do your credentials stuffs


ME: I no know ooo.

SEGE: ok, there is an alternative.

ME: what is it?

SEGE: use your phone to access your mail and

download them from your email and save it on your

memory card.

ME: how will I print it then?

SEGE: I will come to your place very early tomorrow

morning around 5:30 to give you a card reader. You

will insert your memory card inside it and print the

stuffs at any computer centre when you get to Ado.

ME: ok jaree. That's ma boy

SEGE: that's my guy too. Bimpe's surest husband

ME: I no like am ooo.

SEGE: no worry, na me go best you on your wedding

day. Lol

ME: you no well.

I logged into my mail and found my Bsc and NYsc

certificates only from my sent box. I downloaded

both of them. I then realised that it was only the

frontpage of my Bsc result I scanned. I didn't

scanned the backpage and the bagepage has my

school logo and text imprint on it just like that of the

front page. I logged in back to my whatsapp to

update segun.

ME: sege

SEGE: how far guy?. You don download am.

ME: yeah, but there is a problem

SEGE: what is it?

ME: my oracle certificate wasn't scanned along

during that period.

SEGE: what about the and NYSC?

ME: I was able to retrieve those ones.

SEGE: that is cool. You can generate an excuse for

the missing oracle certificate when you get there

ME: ok, but the Bsc result I downloaded doesn't have

a backpage.

SEGE: backpage as how?

ME: on our certificate. The logo of our school and

some text imprints are on the back page with two


SEGE: is the backpage the same for every


ME: yes, just the logo and the school name written

imprinted on it.

SEGE: don't worry. I have a guy who schooled and

graduated from your school 2 years ago and serving

presently. I will get intouch with him and scan the

backpage of his document and send to your

whatsapp before you reach Ado.

ME: **took a deep breath***, thanks jaree my guy.

You are too much

SEGE: what are we friends for

ME: my mind just settle small

SEGE: start rehearsing a genuine excuse you will

provide for the missing oracle certificate

ME: ok jare padi mi.

SEGUN: abeg, I wan post something on my blog, we

go chat later.

ME: ok, goodnite.

I slept off few minutes later until I heard a knock and

a harsh voice on my door around 2am to open up or I

loose my life. I thought I was dreaming, it was when

the knocks and threat was getting intense that I

realised that they are armed robbers. Behold, I

opened out of fear and my laptop and my Blackberry

phone was carted away.

I just couldn't cry. I was just dump and clueless.

"No doubt, Adebimpe has been going spiritual on me,

I don dey suspect say this girl na Emere" I thought.

Segun arrived my house at 5:50am in the morning

and met me and my co-tenants outside mourning and

discussing in groups as if someone died .

SEGE: guy, wetin do your number?, e no dey waka?

And wetin dey happen here?, person died?

ME: phone kee?. Our compound was robbed last

night and my phone was taken away with my laptop

SEGE: haaa!!, no wonder you were all outside at this


ME: **sober** na so we see am ooo

SEGE: se na only you dem rob?

ME: at all, they robbed the whole compound and took

away all valuables. Mummy tolu and her daughter

was even raped sef

SEGE: haa, na wa oooo.

ME: the thing tire me

SEGE: hope you have prepared for your trip?

ME: prepare kee?, how will I go about my credentials

when my phone and system had been stolen?. Even

my nokia torchlight is gone? And how will I contact

my uncle?

SEGE: no wahala. I will give you my android phone

with my line, I will be calling you with my nokia

touchlight that has my second line.

ME: then how will I go about the documents.

SEGE: along the journey, you would re-download the

stuffs on this phone and print it out using the card

reader I will give to you.

ME: ok pal. But how about the one you wanted to

scan to me?.

SEGE: I will give the guy your mail, so he would scan

it and send directly to your mail and you can print it

out also.

ME: what about my uncle, I need to contact him. I

have never been to his place in Ado before. And my

line is gone, how will I locate him? Since he won't be

able to reach me?

SEGE: don't you know his line offhand?

ME: I swear I don't

SEGE: its easy, sebi you dey use blackberry?

ME: yes

SEGE: and you registered blackberry account with

your email address?

ME: yes

SEGE: and your uncle's number is saved on the


ME: yes

SEGE: then all your contacts are backed up on your


ME: how?

SEGE: just log in to your yahoo mail address and on

the homepage, click on contacts.

Me: are you sure I will find it?

SEGE: yes, I'm very sure.

ME: chaii, its really good to have a "tech guru" as a


SEGE: **laughs***. Time is no more on our side, go

and bath and then dress up

ME: ok, help me to sign in into my mail and be doing

the stuff while I bath.

SEGE: ok, wetin be that your password sef?,

"adebimpe" abi?

ME: you no well. Its the same with the one I used for


SEGE: **laughs*** ok.

I rushed to the bathroom to shower and brush my

teeth. I dressed up and picked my remaining

credentials, some other things. And by 6:08, I'm done

and ready. By this time, segun was busy downloading

my credentials from my mail. We both walked out

and I locked the door. He followed me to the taxi and

we boarded the taxi together, he showed me how to

access my contacts from my email and behold, all

my phone contacts was backed up on my phone. I

checked for my uncle's number and dialled it.

ME: hi sir

UNCLE: hi, who is this?

ME: onihaxy sir

UNCLE: what happened to your line ?

ME: my phone was stolen sir, so a friend borrowed

me his phone.

UnCLE: anyways, where are you?

ME: at the park.

UNCLE: by this time?. I expected you to be almost

here by now, this is 7:05am

ME: I will soon be there sir. Akure to Ado is just

45minutes sir.

UNcLE: ok, safe journey

ME: thanks sir **hanged up****

Segun and I arrived at the park by 7:12am, he gave

me the phone and promised to keep intouch and also

ensure to tell the guy to scan and send the stuffs to

me. Segun returned home and I sought the service of

the food sellers at the park to fill my tummy before

the bus was filled up. At about 7:35, the bus was

filled up and set to move.

I was in the bus and I downloaded all the files into

the memory card. The phone battery was at 55% and

segun didn't give me his charger. Oppps!!!!, I even

forgot to collect the card reader from him.

At 8am, my uncle almost drained the battery of the

phone with calls. "Where are you?, where are you?".

At a point in time, I had to lie to him that the bus had

a flat tire and the driver stopped over to replace it.

The passengers closer to me were marvelled by my

lies and they opened their mouth wide at me. A lady

sitting behind me even said it jokingly that "bros!!,

you can lie oooo" and we all laughed it off.

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