A baker in a little country town bought the butter he used from a nearby farmer. One day he suspected that the bricks of butter were not full pounds, and for several days he weighed them.
He was right. They were short weight, and he had the farmer arrested.
At the trial the judge said to the farmer, "I presume you have scales?"
"No, your honor."
"Then how do you manage to weigh the butter you sell?" inquired the judge.
The farmer replied, "That's easily explained, your honor. I have balances and for a weight I use a one-pound loaf I buy from the baker."
The Mountain & The Baby
There were two warring tribes in the Andes, one that lived in the lowlands and the other high in the mountains. The mountain people invaded the lowlanders one day, and as part of their plundering of the people, they kidnapped a baby of one of the lowlander families and took the infant with them back up into the mountains.
The lowlanders didn't know how to climb the mountain. They didn't know any of the trails that the mountain people used, and they didn't know where to find the mountain people or how to track them in the steep terrain.
Even so, they sent out their best party of fighting men to climb the mountain and bring the baby home. The men tried first one method of climbing and then another. They tried one trail and then another. After several days of effort, however, they had climbed only several hundred feet.
Feeling hopeless and helpless, the lowlander men decided that the cause was lost, and they prepared to return to their village below. As they were packing their gear for the descent, they saw the baby's mother walking toward them. They realized that she was coming down the mountain that they hadn't figured out how to climb. And then they saw that she had the baby strapped to her back. How could that be?
One man greeted her and said, "We couldn't climb this mountain. How did you do this when we, the strongest and most able men in the village, couldn't do it?"
She shrugged her shoulders and said, "It wasn't your baby."
Ted and John wanted to get away from the countryside and see the world. One day Ted said to his brother "You know, we could do really well setting up our bungee-jumping service in Mexico.”
John thought this was a great idea, so the two pooled their money and bought all the equipment they needed.
They traveled to Mexico and began to set up a tower near the center of the town for good publicity. As they began building the tower, a crowd assembled nearby. Slowly more and more people gathered to watch them work.
They were excited at having such a big audience that Ted decided to jump and show his prospective clients all about bungee jumping.
He bounced at the end of the cord. When he came back up, John noticed that he had a few cuts and scratches. As he flew by, John asked if the cord was too long. Unfortunately, he wasn't able to catch him. So Ted fell again, bounced and came back up.
This time Ted was seriously bruised and bleeding. Again, John just missed catching him and asked if the cord was too long.
Ted fell a third time. This time, when he bounced back, he was a complete mess with a couple of broken bones and was almost unconscious.
Luckily, John finally caught his brother and said "What happened? Was the cord too long?"
Ted said, "No, the cord was fine, but what in the world is a piñata?
One day a father and his rich family took his son to a trip to the country with the firm purpose to show him how poor people can be. They spent a day and a night in the farm of a very poor family. When they got back from their trip the father asked his son, "My dear Son, how was the trip?"
"Very good Dad!"
"Did you see how poor people can be?" the father asked.
"And what did you learn?"
The son answered, "I saw that we have a dog at home, and they have four. We have a pool that reaches to the middle of the garden, they have a creek that has no end. We have imported lamps in the garden, they have the stars. Our patio reaches to the front yard, they have a whole horizon."
When the little boy was finishing, his father was speechless.
His son added, "Thanks Dad for showing me how poor we are!"
A Woman's Place
Governor White and his wife were driving through the open Texas countryside one day, out for a relaxing drive and talk
The couple happened to be around the area where Mrs. White grew up, and as they pulled into a gas station to fuel up and check out the car, Mark noticed a little nervousness with his wife. He didn't say anything, but when the gas station attendant came out to their car, Mark began to notice what was really going on. Both his wife and the attendant looked surprised to see each other, and they acted with that awkwardness that two people have when they've been close in the past, but weren't anymore.
Governor White pretended not to notice this. They finished at the gas station and continued back down the highway. The car fell silent and neither said a word. For a long time they remained silent, and all the while Mrs. White kept looking out the window, staring off out into the distance. Mark was considerate and patient with this silence, and he continued to drive in the silence. But after the silence had gone on for almost an hour, he interrupted, trying to break the silence.
"Honey, I couldn't help but notice how you and that gas station attendant looked at each other. You were involved with each other at one point, weren't you," he asked?
"Well, yea," She responded, quietly.
"Well, I guess I know how you feel. You were probably thinking about that and needed some space, right," he continued?
"Yea," she said again.
"I guess you were probably thinking about how different your two lives had become. I guess you were thinking that if you had married him, then you'd be the wife of a gas station attendant now, instead of my wife. Right," he said?
"Well, No. Actually I was thinking that he'd be the governor now."
A Sufi Story from the Middle East
Mullah came upon a frowning man walking along the road to town. "What's wrong?" he asked.
The man held up a tattered bag and moaned, "All that I own in this wide world barely fills this miserable, wretched sack."
"Too bad," said Mullah, and with that, he snatched the bag from the man's hands and ran down the road with it.
Having lost everything, the man burst into tears and, more miserable than before, continued walking. Meanwhile, Mullah quickly ran around the bend and placed the man's sack in the middle of the road where he would have to come upon it.
When the man saw his bag sitting in the road before him, he laughed with joy, and shouted, "My sack! I thought I'd lost you!"
Watching through the bushes, Mullah chuckled. "Well, that's one way to make someone happy!"
You Don't Know
An Eastern European Tale
A pious old man would each day cross the village green and go into the temple to pray. A soldier watched him do this day after day. One morning, in an ill temper, the soldier stopped the old man and said, "Where do you think you're going?"
"I don't know," replied the old man.
"What do you mean, you don't know?!" said the soldier." Everyday I see you walk out of your house at this time, cross the village green and go into the temple to pray! Answer me! Where are you going?"
Again the old man replied, "I don't know."
With that, the soldier grabbed him by the scruff of the neck, took him to the jail and pushed him into a cell. Just as the soldier was turning the key, the old man looked at the jail and said, "See! You don't know!"
A Taoist Tale from China by Han Fei
A man needed a new pair of shoes. Before he went to the marketplace, he drew a detailed picture of his feet on a piece of paper, carefully measured them, and wrote down all their dimensions. Then, he set off on foot for the shoe store. Arriving later that day at the bazaar, he unhappily discovered that he had forgotten to bring the paper with his measurements on it! He turned around and walked back home to get it. It was sunset by the time he returned to the market,. and all the shops were closed. He explained his situation to one of the shopkeepers who had already packed away all his wares.
"Foolish man!" said the merchant. "You could have trusted your feet and tried the shoes on in the store! Why did you go home to get your diagrams?"
The man blushed, "I guess I trusted my measurements more..."
Visits of Kings
A Tale from the Middle East
The Imperial Majesty visited a small teahouse one morning. He called for an omelet. With great ceremony he was flattered and served the omelet on the crude tableware of the teahouse. The owner apologized over and over for the common cloth on the table and the simple furniture. "Not at all up to the standards of a king!" he said.
"It's fine," the king reassured him. "How much do I owe for the omelet?"
"For you, Sire, the omelet will be 1,000 pieces of gold."
"Whoa!" The king raised an eyebrow. "Eggs must be expensive around here. Is that because they are scarce?"
"It's not the eggs which are scarce around here, Your Majesty," said the shopkeeper, "It is the visits of kings!"
A Big Quiet House
A Yiddish Folktale from Eastern Europe
There was once a man who wished his small, noisy house was larger and quieter. He went to the wise old woman of the town and explained his need. She said, "I can solve your problem. Just do as I say." The man agreed.
"If you have a chicken, some sheep, a horse, and a cow," she said, "bring them into the house with you."
"That's a silly thing to do," thought the old man. But he did it anyway. Now his house was already small, and with all those animals in it, there was no room at all. He returned to the old woman and cried, "I need more room! The animals are so noisy I can't think!"
"Take all those animals out of your dwelling," she replied.
When he had put all the animals comfortably back in the barn, the man went into his house. To his amazement, it suddenly looked remarkably bigger! Without the animals inside, his house was now quiet too!
A Tale from India
Three fish lived in a pond. One was named Plan Ahead, another was Think Fast, and the third was named Wait and See. One day they heard a fisherman say that he was going to cast his net in their pond the next day.
Plan Ahead said, "I'm swimming down the river tonight!
Think Fast said, "I'm sure I'll come up with a plan.
Wait and See lazily said, "I just can't think about it now!"
When the fisherman cast his nets, Plan Ahead was long gone. But Think Fast and Wait and See were caught!
Think Fast quickly rolled his belly up and pretended to be dead. "Oh, this fish is no good!" said the fisherman, and threw him safely back into the water. But, Wait and See ended up in the fish market.
That is why they say, "In times of danger, when the net is cast, plan ahead or plan to think fast!"
Who Is King Of The Forest?
A Tale from India
When Tiger jumped on Fox, Fox cried out, "How dare you attack the King of the Jungle!"
Tiger looked at him in amazement, "Nonsense! You are not King!"
"Certainly I am," replied Fox, "All the animals run from me in terror! If you want proof, come with me." Fox went into the forest with Tiger at his heels. When they came to a herd of deer, the deer saw Tiger behind Fox and ran in all directions.
They came to a group of monkeys. The monkeys saw Tiger behind Fox and they fled. Fox turned to Tiger and said, "Do you need more proof than that? See how the animals flee at the very sight me?!"
"I'm surprised, but I've seen it with my own eyes. Forgive me for attacking you, Great King." Tiger bowed low and with great ceremony he let Fox go.
The Book of Self-Motivation
Ten Rules for the Good Life
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do today.
Never trouble another for what you can do yourself.
Never spend your money before you have it.
Never buy what you do not want because it is cheap; it will never be dear to you.
Pride costs us more than hunger, thirst, and cold.
Never repent of having eaten too little.
Nothing is troublesome that we do willingly.
Don't let the evils, which have never happened, cost you pain.
Always take things by their smooth handle.
When angry, count to ten before you speak; if very angry, count to one hundred.
"Life is a game of cards. The cards are shuffled and the hands are dealt. You must play your cards well" -- Eugene Hare
"Life is a play. It's not its length, but its performance that counts." -- Seneca
"Life is a B-picture script." -- Kirk Douglas
"Life is something like a trumpet. If you don't put anything in, you won't get anything out." -- W.C. Handy.
"A life is a simple letter in the alphabet. It can be meaningless. Or it can be part of a great meaning." -- Jewish Seminary
"Life is a daring adventure, or nothing." -- Helen Keller
"Life is an onion. You peel it off one layer at a time, and sometimes you weep." -- Carl Sandburg
"Life is what's happening while you're thinking about something else." -- AA saying Each Day I Learn More
I learn that there is surprising kinship in human nature;
I learn that it's a wise father who knows his own son;
I learn that what we expect we get;
I learn there's more good than evil in this world;
That age is a question of spirit;
That youth is the best of life
No matter how numerous the years;
I learn how much there is to learn.
15 Ways to Enhance Your Day
Get up early.
Look around outside before going to work
Relax and enjoy your meals.
Spend time with friends.
Find a quiet place to go to.
Praise yourself and others.
Develop positive relationships.
See your mistakes as stepping-stones.
Keep track of your own moods so you can watch out for them.
Say No without feeling guilty.
Learn effective time management.
Pay attention to health, diet and sleep.
Keep from comparing yourself to others.
Things We Can Learn From a Dog
Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joy ride.
Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.
When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.
When it's in your best interest, practice obedience.
Let others know when they've invaded your territory.
Take naps and stretch before rising.
Run, romp and play daily.
Eat with gusto and enthusiasm.
Never pretend to be something you're not.
If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.
When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by and nuzzle them gently.
Thrive on attention and let people touch you.
Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.
On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.
When you're happy, dance around and wag your entire body.
No matter how often you're scolded, don't buy into the guilt thing and pout.. run right back and make friends.
Delight in the simple joys of a long walk.
Things to Remember
I find what I look for in people. If I look for God, I find God. If I look for bad qualities, I find them. I, in a sense, select what I expect, and I receive it.
A life without challenges would be like going to school without lessons to learn. Challenges come not to depress or get me down, but to master and to grow and to unfold thereby.
In the Father's wise and loving plan for me, no burden can fall upon me, no emergency can arise, no grief can overtake me, before I am given the grace and strength to meet them.
A rich, full life is not determined by outer circumstances and relationships. These can be contributory to it, but cannot be the source. I am happy or unhappy because of what I think and feel.
I can never lose anything that belongs to me, nor can I posses what is not really mine.
To never run from a problem: either it will chase me or I will run into another just like it, although it may have a different face or name.
To have no concern for tomorrow. Today is the yesterday over which I had concern.
To never bang on a closed door: Wait for it to open and then go through it.
A person who has come into my life has come either to teach me something, or to learn something from me.
I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them.
I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people just don't care back.
I've learned that it's not what you have in your life, but who you have in your life that counts.
I've learned that you can get by on charm for about 15 minutes. After that, you'd better know something.
I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to the best others can do, but to the best you can do.
I've learned that it's not what happens to people that's important. It's what they do about it.
I've learned that no matter how thin you slice it, there are always two sides.
I've learned that it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.
I've learned that it's a lot easier to react than it is to think.
I've learned that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.
I've learned that you can keep going long after you think you can't.
I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.
I've learned that either you control your attitude or it controls you.
I've learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place.
I've learned that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.
I've learned that learning to forgive takes practice.
I've learned that there are people who love you dearly, but just don't know how to show it.
I've learned that money is a lousy way of keeping score.
I've learned that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.
I've learned that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down may be the ones to help you get back up.
I've learned that I'm getting more and more like my grandma, and I'm kinda happy about it.
I've learned that sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.
I've learned that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.
I've learned that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.
I've learned that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.
I've learned that you should never tell a child her dreams are unlikely or outlandish. Few things are more humiliating, and what a tragedy it would be if she believed it.
I've learned that your family won't always be there for you. It may seem funny, but people you aren't related to can take care of you and love you and teach you to trust people again. Families aren't biological.
I've learned that no matter how good a friend someone is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.
I've learned that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.
I've learned that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief.
I've learned that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.
I've learned that sometimes when my friends fight, I'm forced to choose sides even when I don't want to.
I've learned that just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other. And just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do.
I've learned that sometimes you have to put the individual ahead of their actions.
I've learned that we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change.
I've learned that if you don't want to forget something, stick it in your underwear drawer.
I've learned that you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.
I've learned that the clothes I like best are the ones with the most holes in them.
I've learned that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.
I've learned that no matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get hurt and you will hurt in the process.
I've learned that there are many ways of falling and staying in love.
I've learned that no matter the consequences, those who are honest with themselves, get further in life.
I've learned that many things can be powered by the mind, the trick is self-control.
I've learned that no matter how many friends you have, if you are their pillar, you will feel lonely and lost at the times you need them most.
I've learned that your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don't even know you.
I've learned that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.
I've learned that writing, as well as talking, can ease emotional pains.
I've learned that the paradigm we live in is not all that is offered to us.
I've learned that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.
I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon.
I've learned that although the word "love" can have many different meanings, it loses value when overly used.
I've learned that it's hard to determine where to draw the line between being nice and not hurting people's feelings and standing up for what you believe.
I've learned that no matter how fast or how far you go, you can't outrun God.
I've learned that no matter how far away I've been, He'll always welcome me back.
I've learned that love is not for me to keep, but to pass on to the next person I see.
I've learned that even if you do the right thing for the wrong reason, it's still the wrong thing to do.
Woody Allen said it best when asked about "relationships," and he told a story to illustrate. He said I think this story speaks about relationships:
A man came in to see a psychiatrist. When the psychiatrist asked him what the problem was, the man said, "Well, it's my brother. I think he's crazy."
"Why do you think that," asked the Doctor.
"Well," said the man, "he thinks he's a chicken."
"Hmmm.." the doctor replied, "That does sound sort of strange. Why don't you bring him in for therapy?"
"I can't," said the man.
"Well, why not," asked the doctor.
"Because, I need the eggs." the man said.
I guess we are intertwined a little more than we like to think. And, we always see the other's strangeness even though we have just as much of our own strangeness, and often we have "complimentary" strangeness.
Hang In There
Nicolo Paganini was a well-known and gifted nineteenth century violinist. He was also well known as a great showman with a quick sense of humor. His most memorable concert was in Italy with a full orchestra. He was performing before a packed house and his technique was incredible, his tone was fantastic, and his audience dearly loved him. Toward the end of his concert, Paganini was astounding his audience with an unbelievable composition when suddenly one string on his violin snapped and hung limply from his instrument. Paganini frowned briefly, shook his head, and continued to play, improvising beautifully.
Then to everyone's surprise, a second string broke. And shortly thereafter, a third. Almost like a slapstick comedy, Paganini stood there with three strings dangling from his Stradivarius. But instead of leaving the stage, Paganini stood his ground and calmly completed the difficult number on the one remaining string.
The School of Life
(Bonnie Tivenen, New Beginnings in Reading)
Respect all people - old, young, rich, and not so rich.
Try not to worry.
Don't tell everyone your business.
Be happy with the things you have.
Exercise every day.
Don't go looking for trouble.
Look for the good in everything and everyone.
Get enough sleep.
Try to forgive and forget.
Always do what you think is right.
Don't worry about what people think of you.
Spend time with your family.
Make time to see friends.
Don't spend money that you don't have.
Try to be happy and kind.
Don't be afraid to say what you think.
Try to be the best that you can be.
Just For Today
Just for today I will try to live through this day only, and not tackle all my problems at once. I can do something for twelve hours that would appall me if I felt that I had to keep it up for a lifetime.
Just for today I will be happy. This assumes to be true what Abraham Lincoln said, that "Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be."
Just for today I will adjust myself to what is, and not try to adjust everything to my own desires, I will take my "luck" as it comes, and fit myself to it.
Just for today I will try to strengthen my mind. I will study. I will learn something useful. I will not be a mental loafer. I will read something that requires effort, thought and concentration.
Just for today I will exercise my soul in three ways: I will do somebody a good turn, and not get found out; if anybody knows of it, it will not count. I will do a least two things I don't want to do--just for exercise. I will not show anyone that my feelings are hurt; they may be hurt, but today I will not show it.
Just for today I will be agreeable. I will look as well as I can, dress becomingly, keep my voice low, be courteous, criticize not one bit. I won't find fault with anything, nor try to improve or regulate anybody but myself.
Just for today I will have a program. I may not follow it exactly, but I will have it. I will save myself from two pests: hurry and indecision.
Just for today I will have a quiet half hour all by myself, and relax. During this half hour, sometime, I will try to get a better perspective of my life.
Just for today I will be unafraid. Especially I will not be afraid to enjoy what is beautiful, and to believe that as I give to the world, so the world will give to me.
Thoughts To Live By
Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.
A good example is the best sermon.
Every good thought is a prayer.
What we pray for may not be for our ultimate good. "No" can be an answer to a prayer as well as "Yes."
If you worry, why pray? If you pray, why worry?
No one is easier to deceive than oneself.
The greatest fault of all is to be conscious of none.
Any good that I can do, or any kindness that I can show to any fellow creature, let me do it now. Let me not defer or neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again.
No matter how hopeless the present problem may seem, remember: This, too, shall pass.
Living in harmony with ourselves is essential to living in harmony with others,
Fear is the enemy of good works; it is a deadly sickness of the soul.
More things are accomplished by prayer than the world realizes.
Knowledge advances one step at a time; let us be patient.
One with God is always in the majority.
How poor are they that have not patience; what wound did ever heal but by degrees?
No one's knowledge can go beyond experience.
The misfortunes which are hardest to bear are those which never come.
Growth is the only evidence of life.
A person who makes no mistakes usually does not make anything.
Love is understanding, acceptance, and tenderness. If it tries to strangle and possess, it is not love.
The more often we think and act honestly, the stronger the habit becomes.
The journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step.
The task ahead of us is never as great as the Power within us.
They hurt the absent who quarrel with the drunken.
Al-Anon is a kissing cousin to invention because they were both born of necessity.
If you find life is empty, try putting something into it.
Beware of the rubber conscience and the concrete heart.
The trouble with many of us is that in trying times we stop trying.
A Life In Your Hands
(Dorothy Law Holte)
If a child lives with criticism, he learns to condemn;
If a child lives with hostility, he learns to fight;
If a child lives with ridicule, he learns to be shy;
If a child lives with shame, he learns to feel guilty;
If a child lives with tolerance, he learns to be patient;
If a child lives with encouragement, he learns confidence;
If a child lives with praise, he learns to appreciate;
If a child lives with fairness, he learns justice;
If a child lives with security, he learns to have faith;
If a child lives with approval, he learns to like himself;
If a child lives with acceptance and friendship, he learns to find love in the world.
Xvxry Pxrson is Important
One manager let employees know how valuable they are with the following memo:
"You Arx A Kxy Pxrson"
Xvxn though my typxwritxr is an old modxl, it works vxry wxll -- xxcxpt for onx kxy. You would think that with all thx othxer kxys functioning propxrly, onx kxy not working would hardly bx noticxd; but just onx kxy out of whack sxxms to ruin thx wholx xffort.
You may say to yoursxlf -- Wxll, I'm only onx pxrson. No onx will noticx if I don't do my bxst. But it doxs makx a diffxrxncx, bxcausx an xffxctivx organization nxxds activx participation by xvxry onx to thx bxst of his or hxr ability.
So, thx nxxt timx you think you arx not important, rxmxmbxr my old typxwritxr. You arx a kxy pxrson.
Be Good to You
Be Yourself – Truthfully
Accept Yourself – Gracefully
Value Yourself – Joyfully
Forgive Yourself – Completely
Treat Yourself – Generously
Balance Yourself – Harmoniously
Bless Yourself – Abundantly
Trust Yourself – Confidently
Love Yourself – Wholeheartedly
Empower Yourself – Prayerfully
Give Yourself – Enthusiastically
Express Yourself – Radiantly
The Lion and The cougar
A pointed fable is told about a young lion and a cougar. Both thirsty, the animals arrived at their usual water hole at the same time. They immediately began to argue about who should satisfy their thirst first. The argument became heated, and each decided he would rather die than give up the privilege of being first to quench his thirst. As they stubbornly confronted each other, their emotions turned to rage. Their cruel attacks on each other were suddenly interrupted. They both looked up. Circling overhead was a flock of vultures waiting for the loser to fall. Quietly, the two beasts turned and walked away. The thought of being devoured was all they needed to end their quarrel.
Watch Your Thoughts.
Watch Your Thoughts.
They Become Words.
Watch your Words.
They Become Actions.
Watch Your Actions.
They Become Habits.
Watch Your Habits.
They Become Character.
Watch Your Character.
For It Becomes Your Destiny.
There's nothing to fear --- you're as good as the best,
As strong as the mightiest, too.
You can win in every battle or test;
For there's no one just like you.
There's only one you in the world today;
So nobody else, you see,
Can do your work in as fine a way:
You're the only you there'll be!
So face the world, and all life is yours
To conquer and love and live:
And you'll find the happiness that endures
In just the measure you give;
There's nothing too good for you to possess,
Nor heights where you cannot go:
Your power is more than belief or guess ---
It is something you have to know.
There is nothing to fear --- you can and you will.
For you are the invincible you.
Set your foot on the highest hill ---
There's nothing you cannot do.
How To Survive the Business of Living
(Karen Kaiser Clark, The Center For Executive Planning)
Real is the person who does not define happiness as an absence of problems. Surviving this business of living is a difficult ordeal at times. How can we retain a healthy sense of humor and experience a sense of balance in our lives? How can we realistically and yet with a sense of wonder live fully and not just survive? How can we maybe even celebrate this business of living? To answer some of these questions we will focus on seven points.
Life Isn't Fair
No matter how good we get at this business of living, none of us gets out of it alive. Frustrating, isn't it! Life doesn't always deal us a good hand and doing our best doesn't always pay off with a positive.
Growth is seldom easy and pain is an integral part of our human condition. Everybody hurts. It's just that some of us are better actors in hiding the pain we feel. Seldom if ever... are all of our ducks in a row.
Loneliness and Alikeness
Dr. Albert Schweitzer said, "We are all so much together, but we are all dying of loneliness." We have all known moments of apartness and empty loneliness. Embracing that reality is essential if we are to cope effectively.
We each have a choice to be either a death- peddler or a life-giver. We are responsible for the choices we make. We can become most of what we wish to be if we are willing to change and pay the price.
A poster reads, "God don't make junk." People are special and each is, "Beautiful in his/her own way." We are more than our accomplishments!
People Need People
Life is not meant to be lived in isolation. All of life occurs within relationships. We need to know we are needed and so do those we need.
Life is not just one big problem to be solved. Rather, it is a mystery to be experienced, all the more meaningful and beautiful when it is shared and celebrated with other persons who are committed to "growing deep, not just tall!"
How To Love Yourself
(Louise L. Hay)
Stop All Criticism - Criticism never changes a thing. Refuse to criticize yourself. Accept yourself exactly as you are. Everybody changes. When you criticize yourself, your changes are negative. When you approve of yourself, your changes are positive.
Don't Scare Yourself - Stop terrorizing yourself with your thoughts. It's a dreadful way to live. Find a mental image that gives you pleasure (mine is yellow roses), and immediately switch your scary thought to a pleasure thought.
Be Gentle And Kind And Patient - Be gentle with yourself. Be kind to yourself. Be patient with yourself as you learn the new ways of thinking. Treat yourself as you would someone you really loved.
Be Kind To Your Mind - Self-hatred is only hating your own thoughts. Don't hate yourself for having the thoughts. Gently change your thoughts.
Praise Yourself - Criticism breaks down the inner spirit. Praise builds it up. Praise yourself as much as you can. Tell yourself how well you are doing with every little thing.
Support Yourself - Find ways to support yourself. Reach out to friends and allow them to help you. It is being strong to ask for help when you need it.
Be Loving To Your Negatives - Acknowledge that you created them to fulfill a need. Now, you are finding new, positive ways to fulfill those needs. So, lovingly release the old negative patterns.
Take Care Of Your Body - Learn about nutrition. What kind of fuel does your body need to have optimum energy and vitality? Learn about exercise. What kind of exercise can you enjoy? Cherish and revere the temple you live in.
Mirror Work - Look into your eyes often. Express this growing sense of love you have for yourself. Forgive yourself looking into the mirror. Talk to your parents looking into the mirror. Forgive them too. At least once a day say: "I love you, I really love you."
Love Yourself... Do It Now - Don't wait until you get well, or lose the weight, or get the new job, or the new relationship. Begin now -- and do the best you can.
My Declaration of Self Esteem
(From Self Esteem by Virginia Satir )
I am Me. In all the world, there is no one else exactly like me.
Everything that comes out of me is authentically mine, because I alone chose it --
I own everything about me: my body, my feelings, my mouth, my voice, all my actions, whether they be to others or myself.
I own my fantasies, my dreams, my hopes, and my fears. I own my triumphs and successes, all my failures and mistakes.
Because I own all of me, I can become intimately acquainted with me.
By so doing, I can love me and be friendly with all my parts. I know there are aspects about myself that puzzle me, and other aspects that I do not know --
But as long as I am friendly and loving to myself, I can courageously and hopefully look for solutions to the puzzles and ways to find out more about me.
However I look and sound, whatever I say and do, and whatever I think and feel at a given moment in time is authentically me.
If later some parts of how I looked, sounded, thought, and felt turn out to be unfitting, I can discard that which is unfitting, keep the rest, and invent something new for that which I discarded. I can see, hear, feel, think, say, and do.
I have the tools to survive, to be close to others, to be productive, and to make sense and order out of the world of people and things outside of me.
I own me, and therefore, I can engineer me. I am me, and I am Okay.
Our Deepest Fear
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. You are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within you. It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we're liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." -Nelson Mandela
How To Be Unhappy
Make little things bother you. Don't just let them, MAKE them.
Lose you perspective on things and keep it lost: don't put first things first.
Get yourself a good worry, one about which you cannot do anything.
Be a perfectionist, which means not that you work hard to do your best, but that you condemn yourself and others for not achieving perfection.
Be right. Be always right. Be the only one who is always right, and be rigid in your rightness.
Don't trust or believe people, or accept them at anything but their worst and weakest. Be suspicious. Insist that others always have hidden motives.
Always compare yourself unfavorably to others. This guarantees instant misery.
Take personally everything that happens to you.
Don't give yourself whole-heatedly to anyone or anything.
Laws of Success
Do you want something? -- Will you pay the price?
The great sin -- Gossip.
The great cripple -- Fear.
The greatest mistake -- Giving up.
The most satisfying experience -- Doing your duty first.
The best action -- Keep the mind clear and judgment good.
The greatest blessing -- Good health.
The biggest fool - The man who lies to himself.
The great gamble -- Substituting hope for facts.
The most certain thing in life -- Change.
The greatest joy -- Being needed.
The cleverest man -- The one who does what he thinks is right.
The most potent force -- Positive thinking.
The greatest opportunity -- The next one.
The greatest thought -- God.
The greatest victory -- Victory over self.
The best play -- Successful work.
The greatest handicap -- Egotism.
The most expensive indulgence -- Hate.
The most dangerous man -- The liar
The most ridiculous trait -- False pride.
The greatest loss -- Loss of self-confidence.
The greatest need -- Common sense.
Claim Your Freedom
Freedom is not a destination. It's a journey.
You need to be free to choose the right road for yourself. The right road is the one that leads to your best. All that matters is that you end up a free person - free to decide where you want to go and how you intend to get there.
The method is simple: act freely and freedom will be yours. Because being free is being real, if you want to be free, you need to make friends with the truth.
No matter how clearly you can point to forces blocking you, the most important obstacles to you freedom are within.
You are the one who permits obstacles to block your path. While being stuck is frustrating, it also keeps you from risking, safe from failure and from discovering your weaknesses and shortcomings. Your prison is always your choice. To break free, you have to give up whatever security being bound offers.
You should be able to face the present without the emotions of the past intruding. In the end you're only as free as you are in your heart. Your freedom lies just behind your forgiving. When you free yourself, you also free the world.
I am free.
I declare it.
The longer I live
The more I realize the impact of attitude on life.
Attitude, to me, is more important than the past,
Than what other people think or say or do.
It is more important than appearance,
Giftedness or skill.
It will make or break an organization,
A school, a home.
The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day.
Regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day.
We cannot change our past.
We cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way.
We cannot change the inevitable.
The only thing we can do
Is play the string we have.
And that is our attitude.
I am convinced that life is 10 percent what happens to me
And 90 percent how I react to it.
And so it is with you.
(Robert J. Burdette)
There are two days in the week upon which and about which I never worry -- two carefree days kept sacredly free from fear and apprehension. One of these days is Yesterday. Yesterday, with its cares and fret and pains and aches, all its faults, its mistakes and blunders, has passed forever beyond my recall. It was mine; it is God's.
The other day that I do not worry about is Tomorrow. Tomorrow, with all its possible adversities, its burdens, its perils, its large promise and performance, its failures and mistakes, is as far beyond my mastery as its dead sister, Yesterday. Tomorrow is God's day; it will be mine.
There is left, then, for myself but one day in the week - Today. Any man can fight the battles of today. Any woman can carry the burdens of just one day; any man can resist the temptation of today. It is only when we willfully add the burden of these two awful eternities - Yesterday and Tomorrow - such burdens as only the Mighty God can sustain - that we break down.
It isn't the experience of Today that drives men mad. It is the remorse of what happened Yesterday and fear of what Tomorrow might bring. These are God's Days... Leave them to Him.
On Letting Go
To "let go" does not mean to stop caring, it means I can't do it for someone else.
To "let go" is not to cut myself off, it's the realization I can't control another.
To "let go" is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences.
To "let go" is to admit powerlessness, which means the outcome is not in may hands.
To "let go" is not to care for, but to care about.
To "let go" is not to fix, but to be supportive.
To "let go" is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being.
To "let go" is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes, but to allow others to effect their destinies.
To "let go" is not to be protective, it's to permit another to face reality.
To "let go" is not to deny, but to accept.
To "let go" is not to nag, scold, or argue, but instead to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.
To "let go" is not to adjust everything to my desires, but to take each day as it comes, and cherish myself in it.
To "let go" is not to criticize and regulate anybody, but to try to become what I dream I can be.
To "let go" is not to regret the past, but to grow and live for the future.
Generally we think of fights as unpleasant confrontations between two or more people where tempers flare, voices are raised, and angry insults are exchanged. Fights need not be this way. They are normal and necessary in most relationships, but dirty, unfair fights only result in bitterness, distrust, and feelings of revenge.
Clean, fair fights, on the other hand, are confrontations where disagreements and grievances are dealt with according to a specific set of rules. At the end of a fair fight most people feel refreshed and relieved because a sensitive issue has been settled in a constructive way.
The following rules must be observed when conducting a clean, fair fight:
No hitting below the belt -- purposely calling attention to known weaknesses or sensitive areas.
No false agreements -- pretending to go along or to agree when you don't.
No character analysis or psychoanalyzing -- telling a person what they are thinking, feeling, or why they acted as they did.
No stereotyping -- labeling or name-calling.
No gunny sacking -- saving up minor grievances and dumping them all at once rather than dealing with them one at a time as they occur.
No playing archaeologist -- digging up past happenings.
Don't generalize -- using statements such as "You always..." or "You never..." to describe a person's behavior.
Stick to the issue -- dealing with only one issue at a time.
Don't drop "the bomb" -- over-reacting to a situation and making idle threats; giving an ultimatum.
Avoid "round robin" fights -- continuing with repetitive, stale arguments where no progress is being made toward conflict resolution.
The purpose of arguments and conflict is to resolve difficulties or solve problems, not to assign blame or to find fault. Do not keep score. Do not lecture. Differentiate between behavior and being. Treat everyone with regard and respect. Do not judge the perceptions and feelings of others. Accept differences. And don't forget the best part of all fights -- making up afterwards. Making up is an essential part to complete resolution.
Each day, I promise myself not to try to solve all my life problems at once -- nor shall I expect you to do so;
Starting each day, I shall try to learn something new about me and about you and about the world I live in, so that I may continue to experience all things as if they had been newly born;
Starting each day, I shall remember to communicate my joy as well as my despair, so that we can know each other better;
Starting each day, I shall remind myself to really listen to you and to try to hear your point of view and to discover the least-threatening way of giving you mine, remembering that we are both growing and changing in a hundred different ways;
Starting each day, I shall remind myself that I am a human being and not demand perfection of you until I am perfect, so you're safe;
Starting each day, I shall try to be more aware of the beautiful things in our world -- I'll look at the flowers, I'll look at the birds, I'll look at the children, I'll feel the cool breezes, I'll eat good food -- and I'll share these things with you;
Starting each day, I shall remind myself to reach out and touch you, gently, with my words, my eyes and with my fingers, because I don't want to miss feeling you;
Starting each day, I shall dedicate myself again to the process of being a lover -- and then see what happens;
You know, I'm really convinced that if you were to define love, the only word big enough to engulf it all would be "Life" -- LOVE IS LIFE -- in all its aspects... And if you miss love, you miss life!