Lidija Rangelovska – write to: email@example.com
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Print ISBN: 978-80-238-3384-3
This book is dedicated to Lidija,
my wife, my life, and my muse,
who made this tome possible
and much more besides.
History of the Book
In April 1997, we uploaded to the Web a free Internet edition of Sam's book "Malignant Self-love: Narcissism Revisited", written in 1995. It is still available here: http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com.
It generated an outpouring of anguish and relief from both narcissists and victims of abuse, who now could put a label to their misery and suffering. Thus, we followed up with the first print edition of the book in 1999.
At the time, with the exception of a handful of scholars, no one had even heard of pathological narcissism. Sam had to come up with a whole new vocabulary to describe the pernicious disorder and its insidious effects. He coined phrases such as Somatic and Cerebral Narcissist, narcissistic abuse, No Contact, devalued and discarded, cold empathy, and dozens of others. Sometimes, he had to imbue moribund phrases from the 1930s and 1970s with new meaning: Narcissistic Supply and False Self are two examples of many.
20 years later, narcissism is a cultural meme, a buzzword, and a leading topic of study in academe. Yet, it is precisely this popularity that threatens to obscure the true nature of Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
This tenth, definitive, revised printing aims to remind everyone not to bandy narcissism about as a mere invective. It provides a coherent and rigorous framework for the discussion of pathological narcissism in all its manifestations, individual and social.
Skopje, March 2015
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T E S T I M O N I A L S
What the Media Have to Say "Few people can claim to have increased the public awareness of NPD to such a degree."
Adrian Tampany, Financial Times Weekend Magazine,
September 4-5, 2010
"Malignant Self-love (is a) … magnum opus."
Yvonne Roberts, Sunday Times, September 16, 2007
"Sam Vaknin is the world's leading expert on narcissism."
Tim Hall, New York Press, Volume 16, Issue 7, February 12, 2003
"Vaknin's a respected expert on malignant narcissists … He set about to know everything there is about the psychopathic narcissist."
Ian Walker, ABC Radio National Background Briefing, July 18, 2004
Additional interviews with New-York Times, New-York Post, Washington Post, UPI, Sunday Times, Financial Times, and other major media available in Sam Vaknin's Media Kit.
What Mental Health Professionals and Authors Have to Say "Among many books published on the topic of pathological narcissism, this is by far the best. It is highly recommended not only for the general public but also for professional therapists."
Akira Otani, Ed.D., ABPH, University of Maryland
"Sam Vaknin's book is THE bible on Narcissism!"
Mary Jo Fay, author of 'When Your Perfect Partner Goes Perfectly Wrong –
Loving or Leaving the Narcissist in Your Life'
"Sam is doing a great work on pathological narcissism. His book 'Malignant Self-love' is our first guideline in handling malignant types of patients in the forensic setting."
Dr. Sanja Radeljak, M.D., Ph.D.
Psychiatrist and forensic expert witness
"Sam Vaknin is extremely impressive and the author of 'Malignant Self-love: Narcissism Revisited', which is a seminal work on narcissism. Buy Vaknin's book because it will teach you every single thing in the world about narcissists. This guy invented how we think about narcissism."
Dr. Samantha Rodman, DrPsychMom.com
"The book penetrates deeply into the narcissist's mind and is filled with myriad gripping novel insights. It gives the reader a great insight into the fears, desires, defences, and motives of the narcissist, as well as those in relationship with the narcissist."
Alison Poulsen, Ph.D.
"Brilliant, insightful, extremely relevant, not only clinically, but practically, on a day to day basis. This work can be immediately applied and be of assistance to our society at large."
Cyndie Spanier, Ph.D.
Deputy Director at Pittsburgh Behavioural Medicine, LLC
"Sam is a genius his work most inspiring not only to myself but to my colleagues as well."
Joan Jutta Lachkar, Ph.D, Affiliate Member of the New Centre for
Psychoanalysis and author of: 'How to Talk to a Narcissist',
'How to Talk to a Borderline', 'Narcissistic/Borderline Couples'
"I consider this book to be the compass for Narcissistic Personality Disorder education."
Jen Emmerich, LMSW, ACSW
"There is no more important work than this one on the subject … You may very well discover yourself."
Heyward Bruce Ewart, III, Ph.D., author of 'Am I Bad'
"Read Malignant Self-love so you will understand that you are NOT crazy, you are just embedded in a crazy making relationship."
Liane J. Leedom, M.D., author of 'Just Like His Father?'
"I was stimulated just as I was challenged and enlightened."
Robert L. Mueller, author of 'Bullying Bosses'
"Vaknin's depth and breadth are unmatched anywhere else and by anyone else. He knows everything there is to know about narcissistic and psychopathic abusers and how to cope with them effectively."
Yomtov Barak, family therapist
"The only source of such vast, serious, elaborated and thorough first-hand information about Narcissism available. Useful for victims as well as therapists."
Dr. Nili Raam, author
"Provides the partners, family and friends of NPD sufferers, and the sufferers themselves, with deep insight into the numerous expressions of this devastating and often insidious disorder."
Esther Veltheim, author of 'Beyond Concepts'
"One powerful healing tool in our therapy with these people is Dr. Vaknin's book. The most accurate portrayal of the 'typical' cult leader we have ever seen."
Robert Pardon, Director of MeadowHaven
"A must read for psychologists, social workers, and all individuals who want to learn how to deal with the narcissists in their lives."
"Required reading for any codependent – to understand how the other side works."
Dr. Irene Matiatos, psychologist and Webmistress of drirene.com
"If you wish to get under the skin of a Narcissist, if you wish to get to know how he thinks and feels and why he behaves as he does, then this is the book for you."
Dr. Anthony Benis, Mount Sinai Hospital, New York, and author of
'Towards Self and Sanity – On the Genetic Origins of the Human Character'
"Sam Vaknin is a leading authority on the topic of narcissism."
Lisa Angelettie M.S.W., former editor of BellaOnline's Mental Health,
'What is Narcissistic Personality Disorder'
"(T)his book is a must read and will give you insight into the emotionally destructive people in your workplace, your family and among your friends. Sam Vaknin clears up the questions, confusion, and effects of dealing with narcissists: the book is well written, informative, and therapeutic."
Carolyn Reilly, MSW San Jose, Costa Rica
"I cannot recommend this book enough to those of you who have this disorder, to families and friends who are trying to understand."
Patty Pheil, MSW, Mental Health Today
Other Testimonials "…This book has an important purpose. I am sure it will be appreciated in a library, classroom or among the mental health profession."
Katherine Theriault, Inscriptions Magazine, Vol. 2, Issue 20
"Now, for the first time, a much-needed first hand account of what Narcissistic Personality Disorder is like. Offers insight and clarity."
Howard Brown, 4Therapy
"Sam Vaknin's study of narcissism is truly insightful. The author has done probably more than anyone else to educate others to this poorly understood condition. In this, his twelfth book, he shares his considerable knowledge and experience of narcissism in a comprehensive yet easy to read style."
The late Tim Field, Author and Webmaster of Bully Online
"Sam has plugged all the loopholes, exposed all the plots, and introduced a new language to confront the Narcissist. A 'hands-on' tool that can immediately bring relief. If you want to breathe again, if you are at your wits end, if everything has been tried and failed, if you NEED a change, then Malignant Self-love can give you your life back. This book is a lifesaver!"