Hmmm. You’ve given me an idea. Thanks

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Hmmm. You’ve given me an idea. Thanks.

Oh, I would like to request two things from you. The first is a list of every article on this website that I have commented on. I hope this doesn’t sound too unreasonable. I just want to compile all the information I have created/changed into one place. If I searched through your archives, that could take a while.

The second thing is, I would like you to read this and tell me if its worth keeping:

In the coming years, years that may even now be at hand,

One shall rise to bring order to the chaos of his homeland.
He shall be great upon the earth, and among men shall be glorified,
He shall be of royal blood, a Prince of the Zhudai Elf Tribe.
He will have many difficulties, trials of body, of heart, of mind,
He will overcome them all, though to his potential he may at first be blind.
To him is left the task of learning the Supreme One’s true name,
With this secret laid bare he will be prepared the victory to claim.
For in this name is found power beyond reckoning,
And now to his servant the Omnipotence is beckoning.
Beware: If our champion sides with evil then soon,
Therva may be condemned to eternal doom.
His path for good or evil he alone can choose,
Whichever side he fights against, it is hard for him to lose.

A riddle to enlighten the truly wise,


That they may recognize him with discerning eyes:

A Cross stands within: THE ADAMANT FATIRA LEADER

I considering trashing it because it’s starting to chafe ME now. Goodness knows what it’ll do to readers. Also, because of the dead giveaways and massive forshadowing to the point of prophecy, it makes Alex a Chosen One. Without it, Alex would feel less Chosen. Case and point: “THE ADAMANT FATIRA LEADER” is actually an anagram for Matadeth Alexander Tafari (you must add the “x”. It’s the “cross” referenced earlier). This feels cheesy to me. The poem was really more for my benefit than the readers because I used it as a plot guide (crutch), but I no longer need it. Will I lose anything be scrapping it?

Your thoughts?

From Superhero Nation’s Exam for Novelists, 2008/11/18 at 5:11 AM

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Brett
65.5.175.239

Do you think showing the reader the backstory before hand will ruin the gradual reveal? (They will already know who Headmaster Gabriel is before I wnat them to.) Or will that be ok?

From Superhero Nation’s Exam for Novelists, 2008/11/17 at 9:39 PM

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Brett
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I woke up that morning to discover a gun pointed at my head. Again.


“Please tell me you’re not trying to kill me.” I said with annoyance.
“Well actually I am.” The man had a stupid grin on his face. The enemy was getting desperate if this was the best they could afford for an assassin.
“You can’t be serious. With that stance? My mother could lay you out.” I then demonstrated. His arm was a pretzel by the time I finished. “See?” I unloaded the gun and tossed it next to the others. “Ordinarily I’d shoot you, but I’m in a good mood today, so…” I dragged the poor sucker over to my bedroom window…on the 20th floor. “I’ll let you take your chances with gravity. That is unless you want to tell me who hired you.”

Not much of a fight, but you get the idea.

From Common Problems with First-Person Narration, 2008/11/17 at 6:42 PM

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Brett

65.5.175.239

The gryphons are a revered part of Giantish culture because of their role in that battle. They are treated not as pets, but as family members and can roam the mountains without interference. Anyone who kills a gryphon (good luck with that) is immediately executed. (It’s kinda like cows in India, but they are sentient). I was going to touch on this later. Hmmm..

Also, the gryphons are just a part of Auringel’s army, just as the dragons and shades are just a part of Valigroth’s army. Here is the full listing:

Valigroth-

The Ravagers
lesser dragons
shades
gargoyles
pyrons (fire golems, e.g. Gehennite)
aquaths (water golems).

Auringel-


the Faithful Guardians (phoenixes)
gryphons
the Daughters of the Sun
the Silver Sons of Maesura (the moon)
select star spirits. (Among these were two brothers named Orion and Scorpius.)

Lupines and Vulpines are essentially the same in that one is a subset of the other. The wolf/fox distinction is important though, because it is part of Whit’s characterization. I cant see her as anything BUT a fox. Likewise, Lupus couldn’t be anything BUT a wolf. But I’ll see what I can do.

Quote: “I’d also recommend considering replacing the dwarves and giants as well. You have three kinds of elves, right?”

This is alot like the Lupine/Vulpine issue. Certain characters just scream certain races. Livir and Volund couldn’t be anything but giants. Neish couldn’t be anything but a dwarf. I’ll see what I can do, but removing them altogether may not be possible.

Ironically, it was Terra originally until I changed it to sound cooler. Now I’m changing it back. Haha.

The Knights can traverse the barriers because they have been proven pure and trustworthy. Also, usually only elvish, dwarvish & giantish Knights operate in the Elderworld, with humans operating in Terra. There are exceptions. (e.g. hybrids).

A glider is important because the power of flight is VERY VERY rare. Also, it is only attributed to humans. This is big because I show that the humans have fallen because they have forgotten how to make gliders. Likewise I show that Alex, Auringel, the phoenixes, dragons, etc. are powerful by having them fly. It’s a neat demonstration device. If flying is big, then the reader knows that a character who can truly fly is very powerful.

Bear in mind that much of the info concerning the world origin will be in a timeline that will be published in the book’s appendix along with a world guide (the geography lesson that WAS the opening *wink*) and a map.

Your thoughts?

From Superhero Nation’s Exam for Novelists, 2008/11/17 at 6:36 PM

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Brett
65.5.175.239

Hello?


From Superhero Nation’s Exam for Novelists, 2008/11/17 at 6:02 PM

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Brett
65.5.175.239

Also, I could make the human nations ignorant not only of the Elderworld, but also of the Emissary’s role and the greater conflict.

Your thoughts on this?

From Superhero Nation’s Exam for Novelists, 2008/11/17 at 4:54 PM

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Brett

65.5.175.239

Quote: “Or do you mean that there are realistic countries without magic and that there are geographically distinct places where magic does happen?”

You’re very close. The reason the humans are separated from the Elderworld (magical realm) goes back to the origin of the world. Stay with me here. I’m going to quickly run you through the timeline, attempting to compress info that would be revealed throughout the book into a few paragraphs. This could get a little confusing.

In the beginning, the Powers Above created the world and appointed the phoenixes to watch over it. One of them became Valigroth. Valigroth waged war against Auringel and the powers of heaven.

At that time there were only two mortal sentient races: the gryphons and The Originals. When it came time to chose sides, the gryphons sided with Auringel, but all except three of the Originals followed Valigroth. Corrupted by evil, the became the Shades. To counter their betrayal, the Powers Above chose wolves and foxes and made them into the Lupines and Vulpines.

At one battle, known as the Battle of the Splitting, The force was so great that it split the world into two shards: Terrasos (Man’s Earth) and the Elderworld (or should I call it Zicaron? Which name is better or can I get away with both?).

After the war, the Powers above made 4 new races: Elves, Giants, Dwarves, and Men. While the other races minded their own business, Men achieved 2 great feats: they invented the glider, and they hunted out the remainders of Valigroth’s army. For their valor, they were given Terrasos. They left and lived there without incident, and could even travel back and forth to visit the other races.

Later, when Valigroth was finally able to escape the void enough to manifest a physical form, the subliminal wave of evil released affected humanity, causing the disastrous fall of Man in an even known as the Dark Day. Its aftershocks were even felt in the Elderworld. The Seers of the Adamarí elves witnessed in vision the fall of Man, and warned that the corruption of mankind must not be allowed to infect the Elderworld. In response to this, the Giants, Sons of the Mountains, Dwarves, Lords of the Deep, and Elves, Guardians of the Forest, decided together to act. The dwarves mined, forged, and crafted great amounts of Skanith metal, knowing its special properties. The giants wrought great stone pillars and grafted the metal to them. The elves, with the knowledge of their people, engraved symbols and glyphs into the pillars, and used their power to erect The Barrier, an unseen force that would prevent the spread of humanity and its corruption. So Man was disconnected from his past, and began to forget the Elderworld, which lives in his memory now only as myths, legends, and fairy tales.

The Elderworld is NOT like, for example, Narnia. It is in the same world, but the barrier keeps humans from entering it. The Knights have knowledge of the crossgates however, and can thwart the Barrier. However, it is physically impossible to pass the barrier by mundane means. If you sailed for a thousand years, you would get nowhere.

Your thoughts?

From Superhero Nation’s Exam for Novelists, 2008/11/17 at 4:51 PM

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Brett
65.5.175.239

Hmmm. Interesting *files away for future use*. But here’s an idea I came up with. Suppose The royal thrones of each race are important to the existence of the Knights as a whole. Think about this. The Knights exist with permission from the rulers of each race. Furthermore, all three elf-rulers must agree on a decision that affects the entire race. If Valigroth gained control of one elf-king, he could potentially stymie the elven legislative system for years, slowing it to a crawl so that they would be forced to revoke the permissions granted to the knights in their territory. This would also provide a link to other subplots where the sovereignty of the giants and dwarves are likewise threatened. It could also explain why Alex and Enigma are searching for some guy in the human lands. He’s threatening human sovereignty, and by proxy the Knights themselves. Also, If all races must agree on the selection of the Emissary, his position would be likewise threatened.

Your thoughts?

From Superhero Nation’s Exam for Novelists, 2008/11/17 at 5:22 AM

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Brett

65.5.175.239

Haha. Right before I wrote “So, now that you’ve finally noticed my existence and you know I’m totally obsessed with you, you wanna go out with me?” I thought, “Maybe I should quit while I’m ahead.” Obviously, I didn’t. Okay, so when I do this scene, I will make sure it doesn’t break the fourth wall quite as much.

Perhaps I’ll add a bit to his “No”:

“No. Maybe I’d be in a more amiable mood if you would offer me some food, maybe something to drink. Oh, and if you don’t mind, could you please be a dear and FREAKIN’ UNCHAIN ME!” Haha. As you can tell, I am fond of sarcasm.

So royalty is no longer a requirement. Hmm. I will need some other way to link…Wait a moment! Suppose Alex’s original goal isn’t to become emissary because he doesn’t know what/who the emissary is. He starts out as going to school to learn to use his powers, then gets wrapped up in the royalty thing and the villain conflict. As far as he knows, his “destiny” is to become elf-prince. The only people who are giving a thought to Emissaryship right now are the ever-watchful authorities.

Your thoughts?

From Superhero Nation’s Exam for Novelists, 2008/11/16 at 6:20 PM

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Brett
65.5.175.239

Berus is the vampire-in-disguise kid.

Actually, she’s not so much disguised as she is in a different persona. (Kallisto is to Torrent as Anakin is to Vader). As soon as she captures Alex, she removes the mask. Here I have potential for something comedic. The reader will be expecting a standard “I am your… GASP!” reveal scene. But suppose Alex doesn’t recognize her immediately. Sample conversation:

Torrent: ” Now behold the face of your undoing!” *removes mask*

Alex: “Um…I’m sorry, am I supposed know you?”

T: “Yeah, I’m Kallisto. You know, from middle school. Markheim Middle School.”

A: “Not ringing any bells.”

T: “Are you sure? Fifth grade, sixth grade, seventh grade? You must remember me.”

A: “No, I don’t recognize you at all actually. Oh, wait…were you that creepy girl who was always following me around?”

T: *sigh* “Yeah, that was me.”

A: “Wow. From creepy to…creepier.”

T: “What? That’s it? You’re not going to freak out? Cower in fear? Or at the very least tell me how pretty I look in this form fitting armor that took me a month to make just for you?”

A: “No.”

T: “Great. Thanks for ruining our dramatic reunion. I engraved your name on left side of the breastplate by the way. It’s just over the heart, see?”

A: *looks disturbed* “That’s wierd. And probably unhealthy.”

T: “So, now that you’ve finally noticed my existence and you know I’m totally obsessed with you, you wanna go out with me?”

A: “You’ve got to be kidding.”

T: *sigh* “It hurts just as much the 54th time. On the positive side, I do have you tied up…”

A: “I think I’ll pass on whatever twisted thoughts you’re thinking. Bye now!” *Burns constraints and runs for life*

It was a bit long, and Alex would be recaptured, but the point is made.

Originally, the royalty thing was a prerequisite to his becoming the Emissary. Maybe in order for someone to qualify, they must have royal blood! Edmond does not though, so making him a choice would mean the authorities would have to bend the rules. But hey, they’re more like “guidelines” anyway right? ; ) Of course, Amorelia would still be a valid choice. And so would Whit if you consider that her status as Last Vulpine technically makes her something akin to royalty.

Your thoughts?

From Superhero Nation’s Exam for Novelists, 2008/11/16 at 2:50 PM

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Brett
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Repost:


I was planning to use the “mole/traitor/impostor” thing with Berus. Doing it twice might make Alex look stupid or gullible. I was going to play Torrent as more of a straight-up villain. Maybe like a female Darth Vader (now that’s scary! No offense to you girl readers) with a twist of Shego.

Oh, and in your idea, how do Alex’s royalty problems (rival, corrupt politician, the kidnapping, the OTHER Neverstars) factor in?

Your thoughts?

From Superhero Nation’s Exam for Novelists, 2008/11/16 at 5:44 AM

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Brett
65.5.175.239

Oh, and in your idea, how do Alex’s royalty problems (rival, corrupt politician, the kidnapping, the OTHER Neverstars) factor in?

From Superhero Nation’s Exam for Novelists, 2008/11/15 at 6:39 PM

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Brett

65.5.175.239

Also, I was planning to use the “mole/traitor/impostor” thing with Berus. Doing it twice might make Alex look stupid or gullible. I was going to play Torrent as more of a straight-up villain. Maybe like a female Darth Vader (now that’s scary! No offense to you girl readers) with a twist of Shego.

Your thoughts?

From Superhero Nation’s Exam for Novelists, 2008/11/15 at 6:37 PM

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Brett
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I didn’t think she would be using two identities. How would that work? I thought she would just be in league with Corrupt Politician and kidnap Alex, revealing her identity to him. I hadn’t thought of giving her anything more involved (like deception). How did you see this working?

From Superhero Nation’s Exam for Novelists, 2008/11/15 at 6:21 PM

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Brett
65.5.175.239

Quote: “Also, please keep in mind that pretty much no one will blame Alex, whether he kills her or she commits suicide.”

I slightly disagree. Remember, she turned evil because Alex spurned her (and Valigroth murdered her parents). So if Alex doesn’t care if she dies he might come off as callous and not too heroic. Unless I want him to. Hmm…

Also, how would I introduce Torrent’s backstory? Obviously there’s the mask removal moment, but I’m not sure that’s enough. It’s not like they’ll be chatting in the dungeon right?


“So, how’ve you been doing?”

“I’ve been ok. Discovered some powers, obviously. So how did you become evil?”


“Well, it’s the darndest thing, you see my parents were murdered…”

Yeah…no.

If she gets captured, after the fact she and Alex could have a conversation in prison where she tell him her story, as well as reveals Valigroth’s existence. Kinda like the moment at the end of Avatar when Zuko goes to see Ozai. Se the beginning of this video: (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=00YjNtjHN08 ).

Your thoughts?

From Superhero Nation’s Exam for Novelists, 2008/11/15 at 5:48 PM

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Brett
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Oh, I forgot, she could still die if 2c occurs.

From Superhero Nation’s Exam for Novelists, 2008/11/14 at 2:08 PM

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Brett
65.5.175.239

Suppose I made the Neverstars out to be the main villain (have Derivesham subservient to them) and then have Torrent reveal that she serves Valigroth? That way, the entire plot would look like the villains were trying to stop Alex’s coronation and gain control of the elves, when in reality Valigroth has a greater purpose.

Also, how do you think the Neverstars should meet their end? What is your opinion for Torrent specifically? Capture? Escape? Death? Suicide?

If #1, she’d probably either vanish forever or there would be a jailbreak, which leads us to…

If #2, She could return
a. to dog Alex again, but more for personal reasons
b. go back to serving Valigroth

c. become a Knight to atone/make up/become Allies with Alex in which case she becomes another love interest beside Amorelia and Whit (see above). This may be a “WHAT THE HECK?” moment for readers though. Unless she turns out to be a spy…cliche.

If #3, She’s gone for good and Alex either feels justified or has guilt.

If #4, Alex has exponentially more guilt. It’s a guilt fest. But guilt and depression at once may be too much for him (and the reader) to take. Torrent’s suicide would be dramatic though.

Your thoughts?

From Superhero Nation’s Exam for Novelists, 2008/11/14 at 2:06 PM

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Brett
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Ah. That will also remove a superfluous deception layer! Thank you. Now, about this “resolving enough in the first book” business. It is true that I leave some threads unresolved, but I do it in a way that’s not obstructive. Furthermore, I feel that the material I DO resolve outweighs what I do not. Also, my book structure is a bit different. There are three books in each published work, so the “book” published is actually a 3-book volume. That being said, If something is unresolved in book 1 and is picked up in book 2, its not a big deal because VOLUME two is the sequel. Here are the plot threads of Volume One in question for your consideration:

By the end of Volume One-

Resolved:
Alex’s conflict with Karen
Alex’s conflict with The Nuisance
Alex’s conflict with the Axe Grinders (might be some trouble after, but that’s fine)
Alex’s mentoring under Maesirturon
Derivesham the Dragon is dead.
First run-in with Indarel Valerius (He comes back though)
Alex fails with Amorelia
The Triplets see Alex crowned their ruler. May come back…as his secret service! (IRONY)
Indarel competes with Alex for the throne, loses, he and Alex respect each other.
Alex is an elf ruler
Corrupt Politician is caught
Neverstars are stopped

Unresolved:
Alex’s friendship with Berus (set-up for shades)
Alex is now depressed & emotionally unbalanced because of his failure with Amorelia
Alex’s status as Emissary remains unclear (They have not chosen him yet. It appears he may not be chosen at all because of his emotional problems.)
We know the Big Baddie (Valigroth) exists, but his is not named.

A stranger arrives who sets up the another plot-piece of Volume two

What do you think?

Vol. One has four main pieces: Alex vs Karen, Alex at School, Alex & Amorelia, and Royal Alex (Not counting the phoenix-dragon thing b/c the phoenix mentoring falls under “School”, and the dragon dies quickly.)

Vol. 2 will have three main pieces: Alex vs. Shades, Alex meets the Ptyn-Korians, and Alex & Enigma stop a villain (either a vigilante menace or an evil sorcerer. Help?). The last one may be discarded because my villain keeps changing and it’s kind of a tangent. Im trying to connect it though.

Your thoughts?

From Superhero Nation’s Exam for Novelists, 2008/11/14 at 5:16 AM

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