MUSIC, SOUND EFFECTS AND ENGINEERING BY: GREG JACKSON
RECORDED AT: TREEHOUSE PRODUCTIONS AND AXTELL ENTERTAINMENT
LEGAL NOTICE: By purchasing this routine you have the right to perform this routine and its musical components in live performances only. Not for use on television or on video productions without written permission. Limited Warranty of 3 weeks to replace damaged media. No refunds on electronic media.
YOU CAN MODIFY THE (YOU) LINES TO FIT YOUR PERSONALITY. REWRITE AND BE CREATIVE!
SOUND ADVICE: You can perform this routine by playing the mp3 on a quality "boom box" portable stereo mp3 player in small areas, or over a professional sound system in large areas such as an auditorium or outside. Do not play on a small inexpensive player because the sound will distort when you try to play it loudly. The mp3 should be played with plenty of volume. Kids will be laughing hard and will miss the routine if it is too quiet, and adults may keep laughter to a minimum for fear of missing parts of the program. The volume of the player should be set about the same as if you were speaking over a microphone to be heard by the group, or louder.
You may want to actively pause the mp3 during your performance in case you get a large audience laugh (we hope you do) after one of the jokes.
It is best to have the mp3 played over a public address system and have the soundman preset the volume level to be compatible with your microphone level.
(Enter with the puppet deeply engrossed in a book you are holding)
Y Now look (name of puppet), you need to stop reading now so we can talk to the folks here.
Y Come on Vern….
Y (name of puppet), we need to stop.
Y (Yell name!!...name!!! )
P What?? (looking directly from the book to you)
Y You need to stop reading so we can talk to the audience!
P What audience? (Looking at you)
Y (using the book push the puppet’s face to turn toward audience…about a count of five)
P (to audience) a……hello…….(turns to you whispering) What am I supposed to do?
Y I brought you out here to sing that song.
P Song? What song?
Y The Alphabet song.
P Oh, yeah……..Can I finish my book first?
Y We need to get on with the song, (name of puppet).
P Oh come on…..that’s not fair! I was reading a book and right when I get to the best part you take it away!
Y Well, I’m sorry, but you need to……
P Okay, I’ll talk to them, but can’t I just finish that one page? PLEASE???!!!!!
Y (roll your eyes) Okay... but make it quick. (hold book in front of puppet)
P Oh, thanks…..I will never forget this.
Y Just hurry, please……
P Okay... (looks into book mumbling as he reads)
Mmmm…….oh this is good! (pull book away to the side slowly...Puppet follows the book with his head still reading). Mmmmmmmm - oh wow! (laugh to audience – then move book back around to the front puppet follows)
Mmmmmm…..who would have thought! (raise it up over puppet’s head in the air – puppet looks up)
Mmmmmmm…….no – way! (finally move it around the back of your head and stop) (puppet jumps) Ahhh!! You scared me!
Y This is really silly…..it’s time to sing that song (put book away).
P Oh no, not yet... please!…….I was almost finished!
Y There is a time and place for everything….You can finish it later!
P But I can’t! The story is soooo good!
YBut I brought you out here to sing a song….
P I know... I know, but it was a classic called "Treasure Island".
SFX begins Y Oh…that’s a good book.
(Ocean, seagulls and bouy bell sfx)
P Oh, yes it is...this guy gets a hold of a mysterious treasure map stolen from a old buccaneer, and he and his friend get on a ship with a bunch of scary sailors…and they set off for Treasure Island to collect the gold.
Y Oh, wow…..
P Yeah, the Captain was Long John Silver, a crusty old pirate. His crew started a riot and tried to mutiny and get hold of the treasure themselves….
Y Wow…then what?
P OK...There we are, on Treasure Island, with greedy pirates, all of us fighting for the gold...digging, digging in the sand trying to find the treasure chest...when suddenly....
P When suddenly…. you took the book away!!!
Y Oh...okay – I'm sorry. Reading IS really important but….
P IT SURE IS! All of us who read are more successful in school and you know what that means!
P It means reading makes you smarter…
Y Yes, that’s good……now sing the….
P And good books can inspire you to use your imagination! Why, they can help you figure out what you want to do with your life! Now that's important!
Y Right, but could you…..
P And some books are like watching a movie in your head....when I read a book I make up what the characters look like. I really love that.
Y Good – but you can’t read until you know the entire alphabet, right?
P Right, every one of those letters is in my book, so you have to learn them to read well.
Y OK...let's hear the alphabet song now, and then you can go back to your book.
P Oh boy...Oh boy...OK...here we go. A-B-C-D-E-F-Gee, I'd like to get back to reading my book!
Y (name of puppet), finish the song first.!
P (sigh)...H-I-J-K-L-M-N-Ohhh...I really wanna read my book!
Y (name of puppet!), won't you please finish the song!!
P (sigh)…Q-R-S-T-U know, I think you're being a little unreasonable here. I just want to…
Y You're ALMOST FINISHED...
P (sigh)…T-U-V-W-X-Why...can't I please read my book!!!
Y (name of puppet!!), You can't read the book until you finish the song!
P Oh, all right…. Z! Now can I have my book?! I can't wait to get back to Treasure Island!
Y (in a pirate voice) Aye, matie!.
P Oh, that’s funny! Ha, ha...I just love to read...ha, ha, ha, ha...
CLOSING MUSIC Y Well, OK (name of puppet), let’s get you back there. Give him a hand!