Most recent dsr yahoo Messages


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Most recent DSR Yahoo Messages:
We used Xytex in 2003. We did not use an ID release donor (we were naive about
the many considerations of our decision that DSR's enlightened us about).

I suppose there is some sort of inherent contractual agreement from our

transaction by credit card over the phone, but we never signed anything for

We reported our birth (so few do, ID release or not). We received our long

profile, as promised. We've always had polite and professional dealings with
Xytex; they've promptly responded to our calls and inquiries and did not audibly
or virtually flinch that we are same sex partners.

We are fortunate that our nearly 6-year-old son seems to be developing normally

(but what's with all the testosterone? ).

So...just wanted to throw in another Xytex experience. DSr Yahoo Group 5/2010

Xytex is great until you need them for something serious....polite only goes so

far when your when your begging for updated medical. Those with ID release are
in a whole other world than the rest.
An while I am happy affictional writer and others have had great interaction you
must be careful that you are always keeping yourself informed of the company
policies as they change without notice.
I wonder if any of you were with Xytex "back in the day" when they had an on
line discussion group for clients? It was a very active community of people who
shared a commonality...we used Xytex. About two years in to my participation I
logged on one day and it was gone...aburptly, no notice, no way to contact
people you had formed friendships with. The reason...the tone of the discussion

started to turn against Xytex and its flip flopping rules and regulations.

I don't hate them, I wouldn't even say don't use them but I think people need to
know that this is risky business. DSR Yahoo Group 5/2010

It looks like most of you with positive Xytex stories have children much younger

than mine. Hopefully this is a sign that things are changing, to late for us

> For what it's worth--here's our experience with xytex.

> Overall, we've had a pretty good experience with Xytex. We used them last
> year to conceive our daughter and were generally happy with the service we
> received. After our twenty week ultrasound showed that our daughter had
> anencephaly (a severe neural tube defect with zero chance of survival), my
> partner delivered at twenty weeks. We contacted xytex immediately since the
> doctors' said her condition, while very rare, was most likely the result of
> a combination of genetic and environmental factors. While they did tell us
> that it was probably the result of just "bad luck," they did say that we
> shoudl use a different donor when we started TTC again. When I called xytex
> to report our situation they were not only professional, but compassionate.
> In the end they didn't retire the donor (2964), but did put a medical
> warning on his profile so when anyone clicks on his profile they are
> immediately made aware of our daugther's medical condition.
> When we started trying this January we ended up using xytex again--in part
> because we felt they handeld the situation as best they could and also
> because they went out of their way to help us find a new donor that met our

> criteria. In the end while we wish our daughter's outcome had been

> different, we have no regrets about using xytex and found them to be
> professional and courteous thorughout all of our interactions. DSR Yahoo Group 6/2010

I have had my own struggles with Xytex in getting updated medical as well. My

daughter was conceived in 1996 so not quite as early as you. He was gone from
the donor list in 1997 so we apparently got him at the end of his "tenure". I
know only one other reported birth exists but perhaps there may be more.
My daughter became quite ill several years ago and I wanted an updated profile
as the medical I had was 12 yrs old. I fought for years to get this. Because my
daughter was not "life or death" I was refused anything. I had an unknown donor
(biggest mistake ever).
The long and short of it is, I was relentless, I barraged them with emails, I
found a facebook group of Xytex employee's and tried that route, I even put a
"lost and found" add in the Augusta Sunday paper looking for the donor.....
Last June I got a current updated profile with medical information. It was not
fantastic but it was very appreciated and helpful. Our donor reportedly declined
to be known when contacted but at least he was willing to update his info. Xytex
supposedly did a blast mailing to old donors.
Stay on is an up hill battle but worth the fight. DSR Yahoo Group 2/2011
Hello Wendy,

My name is L, and I am a donor-conceived person. My Donor is from Xytex. I

am listed in DSR and I have found a brother, Tim, who I've yet to meet.

The reason I'm writing you is that I am searching for my donor father. Mostly,

I'm just curious about who he is, but I also am concerned about the gaping hole

in my medical history. He has not updated his medical history in over twenty

I wrote Xytex, just to see if my donor had signed an identity disclosure. I

received a reply this morning from Xytex, saying that Identity Disclosures
didn't exist in the 1980's--along with their refusal to even contact my Donor,
to at least give him the option that didn't exist 26 years ago.

What is infuriating is that my rights are not even considered. I have a right to

know my biological father's medical history--and I believe he has the right to
decide whether or not he wants contact with any offspring. But Xytex said it
would be 'too disruptive to the donor and his family', so they won't even
consider contacting him.

So, here I am, left frustrated, a little teary-eyed and mad! I was googling

legal rights of donor children, found an alliance group, which lead me back to

Do you know if anything I can do, anyone I can talk too? It seems to me, the

uppers at Xytex are making a decision about contact based on personal
discretion, and I think that is ridiculous! I understand if the donor doesn't
want any contact with his offspring. What I don't understand is why Xytex won't
give him a chance to decide for himself.

Any help you can give me, any direction you can point me too, would be so very


Thank you again, for all your time and help.

I just wrote Xytex inquiring as to why they couldn't help this young woman. (Never received a response).I
know for a fact that Xytex has reached out to donors from the 80's before, why
not this time? Why not give the donor the opportunity to respond? Why not at

least point the donor to the DSR where he can choose to share/update information
anonymously?-Wendy DSR Yahoo Group 2/22011

Messages to Wendy’s email:

10-22-07-sent to Wendy’s email:

Hi Wendy,

I personally used Xytex, and did not experience any problems. Counts were always good etc as far as quality. From a medical perspective, after purchasing sperm, I recieved communication from Xytex about a medical condition of an offspring for my donor. The offspring had hydrocephaly, apparently when this occurs, there is a very slight chance of this condition being hereditary (I think I remember 1% or something like that), but there is only a maternal connection, not a paternal connection at all. So people were notified and the donor was pulled from circulation. I thought this was very thorough and probably even overkill on their part, given the lack of paternal connection with the condition when there is a link at all (rare). I had just frozen the embryos so after my own research online, I determined that there was no dicernable risk and used the embryos. Both kids are healthy and perfect in every way. : )

In another contact with them, one of the workers actually shared the donors first name on request when I explained why I would like it (ie less impersonal than "the donor" when talking to my kids). She thought it was non identifying so that was ok.

So overall, I have been a bit suprised to hear issues with them, as that has not been my experience at all, and they were the only bank to have photos at the time I looked, which was something important for me. I only wish they had had ID release. In fact, if I had a complaint it would be that they are not retroactively finding donors for ID release. When I talked with the contact about the name, she indicated that he had said he would be open to contact every time he donated, so at least back in 2000, they were thinking about ID release obviously but it had not occured yet, but they are not pursuing this option at the moment.

From DSR main group archives (newest messages first):


If I were you, I would strongly consider another bank that is more genuine than Xytex. On the surface, in the brochures, they appear to be incredibly kind, willing to help, you name it.

I used a donor who is long since out of the program. My daughter was born in 1997. She had many little problems that could frankly just be the luck of the draw...reflux, asthma, lazy eye...none of which are on my side and not reported by the donor either.
At age 5 she was diagnosed with a brain cyst. In the process of the work up the neurosurgeon wanted updated medical on the donor and Xytex was adamament that it would not help in any way unless my child was actually "having a life
threatening problem and I could prove that genetics was the cause"....So imagine knowing that your child has to be on the brink of death and you need proof of the cause for them to help. When I chose this bank it was primarily because they had what appeared on the surface to be a genuine sense of caring about the off spring and even said that for non-ID release off spring they would help them when they turned 18 if the wanted info on the donor. Since then the policy has changed and they never notified any of the former clients(parents).
Five years after our scare, I got an email with some basic medical info updated. No history of brain cyst but autism and parkinson...both two very important diseases/disorders. If I had not continued to push them I would not have this information.
So....if you can, go somewhere that is very open, or make sure you pick an open donor and push Xytex with questions.

Out of the clear blue I recieved an email today from Xytex with some updated medical information on our donor. A bio grandmother who developed Parkinsons at 70 and a bio grandfather who had a strong. Also....donors sister has a young son with autism.

All of this is such valuable information and I am finally very grateful to Xytex for this.

I don't know if they solicited the info from the donor as he has been out of the program for about 15 years or is my nagging and blogging and facebooking prompted them to contact him. Either way its good.
The did say the donor still wishes to remain anonymous and while this is hard to hear the fact that he is still around, still responded to Xytex and cared enoughto share his update gives us hope for the future.

Sperm Banks- Most to Least Progressive

Here are current numbers for anonymous vs. open donors that the each sperm bank has in their current catalog. PRS, TSBC and Xytex being the most progressive. Fairfax, CCB and NECC unfortunately still promoting anonymous donors as the bulk of their catalog.

95 id release 88%

13 anon 12%

108 total


49 id release 64%

27 anon 36%

76 total

81 id release 61%

51 anon 39%

132 total

39 id release 21%

144 anon 79%

183 total


56 id release 20%

228 anon 80%

284 total


35 id release 20%

139 anon 80%

174 total

355 id release (37%)

602 anon (63%)

957 total available donors on 4/19/09


I think I contacted all DSR families who used this donor, who are posted on the DSR back in December. If you are not posted on the DSR, and have used this donor- here is the notice and contact information for Xytex:

Xytex regrets to announce the death of our donor AFM 2563. We are in the process of contacting via certified mail all physicians and patients who have reported pregnancies and/or births for this donor. If you would like to learn more information and did not report your child's birth to Xytex or you feel Xytex may not have your current contact information on file, please contact Sue Simmons or Mary Hartley at 404.881.0426.

According to its website, Outreach Health Services, "is the Canadian distributor for Xytex


Queensland Fertility Group also uses Xytex donors. We went through QFG and chose a Xytex donor.


The following have also been added to this list (the registry notes under the facility names are more up to date than this list so be sure to check those headings):

XYTEX AFFILIATES (found in Xytex archives):
Xytex has satellite semen banks in the following locations:

Florida Institute For Reproductive Medicine (904) 399-5620, Jacksonville, Florida

Genesis Fertility Centre (604) 879-3032 Vancouver, British Columbia
North Carolina Center for Reproductive Medicine (919) 233-1680 Cary, North Carolina
Pacific Reproductive Services (415) 487-2288 San Francisco, California
Reproductive Health Associates (813) 572-5300 Clearwater, Florida
Southeastern Fertility Center (803) 881-3900 Mt. Pleasent, South Carolina
University of Connecticut Health Center (860) 679-3460 Farmington, Connecticut
Uptown Pharmacy (214) 871-8711 Dallas, Texas
Xytex Corporation at Syncor (800) 277-3210 Woburn, Massachusetts


A member recently wrote to ask about Fairfax Cryobank and which other clinics they have bought up or sold sperm for. Here is the information that we've collected about who shares/sells/buys sperm:

-Genesis (Canada) is a Xytex affiliate. All numbers are Xytex numbers. Xytex numbers have 3 letters before them. AFL, AFM, AGL, AGM, AHL, AJL, AJM, AIM, BFL, BFM, BGL, BGM, BIL, BJM, CFL, CFM, CGL, CGM, CHM, CJL, CJM, CJN, DFL, DHL, EFL, EFM, EGL, EGM, EHL, EJL, EJM. These are codes for hair and eye color, blood type, and height. They use the number part of the donor number only one time. Old lists had the letter D before the number, but in the donor code part they had the 3 letter code. There have been cases wherethe 3 letter code has changed over the years, example: an older number that used to be coded BFK was later changed to CGL.

-Many small clinics in Canada sell Xytex sperm without telling clients it's actually from Xytex.


My partner and I have had a similar thing happen. We used a donor from Xytex and we live in Brisbane, Australia. Our son was about 3 months at the time and we went to a Lesbian parents picnic to meet other parents. To cut a long story short, us and another woman were among the last left. She had a set of twins three weeks older than our son. I was intrigued by one of the twins and wasnt sure why, until my partner out of the blue asked what fertility clinic she used, and what her donor was like. It inevitably came to donor id, and there you have it........donor siblings 3 weeks apart. And in Brisbane.

We knew at the time we chose our donor that there were 4 vials available. We were going to get them all but decided to wait until I conceived. And i did first go. We then called the clinic to find out that they were taken. so we knew at that stage that our sone may have 1 -3 donor siblings in the same city.
The most curious thing about it all was having harrassed the fertility clinic after our son was born for more vials, i then got a random call from them a few weeks before the above meeting.vials had been returned in early Feb, just after our son was born. Needless to say we were over the moon.It was then at the above meeting that the twins mother stated that those vials were hers. It gets even more intriguing as the twins due date was the day our son was born. They were born 3 weeks early and our son 2 days late.

as we were discussing it all, she told us that the article about my partner and i and our son that was in a brisbane newspaper, she said she had cut it out and had it on her fridge for a while. she told us that she wasn't sure why she did that.........we believe that we were meant to meet.


i have had nothing but wonderful experiences with Xytex Corp. today I had more positive correspondence with them...and i wanted to share as i think it says a lot about them as a cryobank.

i have been in contact w/ them for a while now, as our 19 month old was concieved by a donor from Xytex who stopped donating and who is 'sold out.' there are vials on reserve and i've been in touch w/Xytex staff, making them well aware that we'd like to purchase some should they become available, for a sibling for our son.
today i was told both by e mail and a more formal letter, that our donor has updated his medical records, sharing with them that he was diagnosed and treated for kidney Cancer. he is 37 years old.
Xytex had contaced him b/c there was a couple who wanted to 'reactivate' him (ask him to return for further donations) and he shared the information with them. he had not been diagnosed w/ Cancer at that point (i believe this was in May), but it was suspicious and he shared that with them. he also shared that he had planned on contacting them.
Xytex called him the next month (June i believe) and he shared with them that he had the tumor removed and it was malignant...they then sent a very informative letter to people w/ vials on reserve and to those like myself who do not, but have a child from this donor.

they advised people who had not had a child from this donor but who had vials on reserve, to exchange the vials for another donor at no cost, explaining that while they don't believe the Cancer is hereditary based on a couple of factors, they cannot be sure. They advised people like myself who have a child from him and who would like a future child from him, to discuss our particular situation w/our doctors.

they further allowed me to write a letter to the donor which they will forward to him (he is anonymous), in which i was given the opportunity to both thank him for the best gift i have ever received in my life, wish him well in his health and everything else in life, and ask for the specific diagnosis, as some Kidney Cancers are hereditary and some are not.
i am so grateful that both Xytex and the donor have been so open as I am well aware of how this is often not the case. i am also grateful that Xytex allowed me to get a letter to him, even though he is anonymous and for the donor to being open to this....
i of course, asked the donor for anything more he could share with our son (his contact info for the future, a letter, more information about himself, or even his first name), as i have become more deeply aware of how our son may want that in the future.
just wanted to share with you all...while the news was a bit shocking and disturbing, it has show me how people really can be responsible, and most importantly, caring of others.

I have had quite a few people join the DSR this week with notes saying that they are not telling their child that they are donor conceived because their husband will not allow it. For heterosexual couples out there:

Did you receive any education/counseling from your doctor, facility or sperm bank in regards to disclosure? Any suggestions made? Any counseling offered to deal with infertility?

I am pointing these folks to the reading materials on the DSR's "Articles and Issues" page, the "FAQ" page and the Cambridge "Research" page for articles on the importance of (early) disclosure. I am hearing back from some of these women saying that their husbands will not read or even consider telling the kids. I wonder how we can get the sperm banks/doctors/clinics to better educate the dads? Somehow the shame of infertility needs to be dealt with as well as the

fear of rejection because of not being biologically related to your children. If these families would have told right from the beginning, and been honest with their kids, it wouldn't be such a loaded issue, as now there is a secret and people have been lied to. The older donor conceived people that have found out later in life seem to be much more rattled at having been lied to, than learning hat they are donor conceived.
So far, the clinics/doctors/facilities have been unwilling to include any disclosure literature that I have sent them in their new patient packets (except for Xytex!). So the battle is getting this industry to realize the importance of honesty in families. The Cambridge Research is one step along the way....but we have not made a dent in the way this industry continues to operate.

Any ideas,,,,,please send them my way. I am able to ask the donor some questions. He will answer them for me and the child to be on a tape recorder. What should I ask? Kids,,, what did you want to ask your donor father?

Xytex offers this along with adult photos of the donor which I am very happy about.

One possible explanation for the disparity in numbers between Xytex & Fairfax is that Xytex has more donors who have been tested for. and meet, Canada's screening regulations for sperm (which are different from, and reportedly tougher than, the USA regs).

Lack of compliance with Canadian regs means that:
* not all USA sperm banks can ship to Canada
* only sperm & donors which meet Cdn regs can be shipped to Cda, or used here by clinics & sperm banks.

* samples from donors that were frozen before these regs were put in place a few yrs ago cannot be shipped or used here unless the donor can be found, re-tested & determined to pass the current screening regs.

As a result, some sperm from American ID release donors is available to USA patients but not to Canadians.

I've been wondering the following:

Being in Canada we have only 2 choices for ID release donors. Going through Xytex or Fairfax. Can anyone shed some light as to why Xytex has so many more ID release donors available? I'm talking a HUGE difference, 42 at Xytex vs only 4 at Fairfax. Or am I not seeing Fairfax donors that are available to the US only and there are many more?

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