(The following story is a parody. All the characters here are the property of DC Comics.)
“Fish in the corner pocket!” shouted Joker, rolling a herring across the pool table.
Harley Quinn smiled as the “ball” flopped and rolled into the pocket. “A-ok, Mr. J!” she chirped. “But back to business: How do you know Bats is out of Gotham City?”
“Out of the country, Harley girl,” corrected the Joker, “I have my sources. And while the Bat’s away, the crooks can play! Get me my rolodex.”
Harley reached over and picked up a cheap folder filled with papers. “So boss, whaddya got planned? Want me to round up a few expendable goons?”
“Not this time, Harl,” the Joker answered. “I’m thinking of making a few new friends over to plan a Welcome-Home-Bats party!”
PART 1: THE TEST
The Huntress sighed as she ran towards the old pawnshop. “Why should Batgirl and Nightwing have all the fun?” she asked herself. With Batman away in Corto Matlese, the Huntress, Batgirl, and Nightwing had been working harder keeping Gotham City safe. This wasn’t easy: Joker and Harley Quinn were out there somewhere, along with the Riddler and Poison Ivy; plenty of lowlife scum were also up to their usual nastiness. But with all them around, Batgirl and Nightwing had voted on the Huntress to follow up on the anonymous tip on a burglary at the Great Again Gotham Pawn Store. And they got to scour the city looking for the evil masterminds.
“Innocents could be hurt,” the duo had told her. The Huntress knew that – but she’d rather be out catching the big fish. She also wondered, not for the first time, if there was something going on between the two of them. They certainly spent a lot of time together…
She arrived at the shop, and the door was ajar; clearly someone had shoved it so hard the lock broke. “Amateurs,” though the Huntress disdainfully, but she readied her crossbow all the same. The heroine stepped into the store, diving down and almost instantly spotting the large figure standing in the corner. “Freeze!” she shouted. The person didn’t move, so she ran to him, jumped up for a spinning kick, and hit…
“A bop bag?” she asked aloud as her foot hit inflated rubber. The thing immediately started spraying a greenish gas. The Huntress ran for the door so fast, she didn’t see the vines stretched out until she tripped and fell. She tried to stand up, but the vines wrapped more and more tightly around her legs. She barely had time to struggle before the gas reached her. Oblivion followed.
* * *
The Huntress awoke, and she knew immediately that she was in trouble. She was in a different room: dark, with no windows. Worse, her wrists were tied together above her head, and a quick look up confirmed that those ropes were tied to the ceiling. Her feet were barely touching the ground, but they were spread wide and she couldn’t move them either since they were chained to the floor. And judging from the feel of air on her body, her mask was the only clothing she still had on.
The Huntress thought things couldn’t get any worse, but something proved her wrong: the voice of the Joker.
“Welcome back, Bat-Buddy. Heeheeheee!” the maniac cackled. “I hope you don’t mind me and my friends picking you up, but we need you for a little test before the main event.”
“You and your ‘friends’ can go to hell,” Huntress snapped back. “The second I get out of these chains, I’m going to take you down so hard [cough]” Her rant was interrupted as the Joker sprayed her with something from a perfume bottle.
“You’ll get out soon enough,” observed the Joker, “but I doubt you’ll be kicking anything – courtesy of this delightful concoction. I’m sorry it’s not mixed with any laughing gas, but this isn’t actually one of my creations. And now… let’s dance!”
The Huntress watched with horror as the Joker began to strip down in front of her, while singing a terribly off-key version of “Hot Stuff.” She watched him with horror, but as more of the clothing came off, she found herself becoming fascinated with his all-white body.
“What’s happening?” she wondered as the Joker was down to a day-glow thong. “It must be that spray! I’ve got to resist…” She closed her eyes, trying to focus; but when she did, the Joker grabbed her breasts and her eyes snapped open. Her whole body tingled, and when she looked down at the Joker’s erect penis she couldn’t help but smile. He held her close, rubbing against her, and she tried running through all the evils he had done. This was her enemy, her—
“Uhh!” the Huntress groaned as the Joker thrust into her. The fiend grabbed her buttocks and began a steady back-and-forth movement, almost withdrawing from her before shoving himself back into her. The Huntress immediately responded, tightening around his member, pushing herself against him as best she could. He was screwing her harder, faster, and the Huntress responded fully, her mind a haze of lust. She lost track of time, of where she was, of who she was, and when his member exploded in her she screamed in delight and delirium.
Afterwards the Huntress felt completely dazed. The Joker removed her bonds, and she stood there. He told her to get dressed, and she put her costume on without even reaching for her crossbow. And when he ordered her to tell everything she knew about Batman, Batgirl, and Nightwing, she just did what he said.
PART 2: THE MAIN EVENT
“Where is everyone?” wondered Batgirl. As she drove her Batcycle through Gotham City, she wondered again where her allies were. The Huntress hasn’t called back last night, but Barbara assumed that her fellow heroine was just in a snit about missing the search for the big baddies. (The search turned out to be fruitless: the villains had left town – unlikely, since Gotham City was their home turf – or they were laying low.) And during tonight’s patrol, Nightwing hadn’t met up with her after their first hour of patrolling. A few minutes more and she’d call her partners.
BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! Batgirl’s communicator came to life. “Finally! Let’s see what my partners are up to.” She flipped open the communicator and immediately pulled over.
The image on the screen was Nightwing, unconscious and tied up. More disquieting: Standing over him was the Huntress, wearing whiteface with bright red lips and dyed green hair.
“Hiya, Batbabe!” the Joker’s voice boomed. “Your friend the Huntress sure is helpful! A little persuasion and she told me right where your buddy would be! If you want to rescue him, head over to Jack’s Gym in, oh, say the next fifteen minutes. Come alone and come in the front door. Otherwise, I’ll cut off his wi—well, Nightwing doesn’t have any wings. I’ll just have to find something else to chop off, hee hee!” The signal clicked off.
Batgirl felt a moment of panic, but her training quickly took over. The Joker was a lunatic, but he’d much rather use Nightwing to lure Batman into a trap than kill him. And whatever happened to the Huntress, Batgirl was sure it could be reversed. She just had to keep a clear head and she could handle this. So she sped towards the gym.
* * *
The gym looked deserted, but Batgirl knew the Joker’s hideouts often did. She looked around, but the inside was dark. Her hands ready to grab and fling a Batarang, she walked slowly inside.
Batgirl wasn’t surprised the doors slammed shut behind her: whatever the Joker was planning, he’d want privacy. She was surprised to see a spotlight blaze into life, lighting up a boxing ring in the middle of a room. And inside…
Nightwing was in the far corner. Fortunately he still had his mask and costume on; but that was the end of the good news. His hands and neck were trapped in a medieval stocks, restricting almost any movement of his upper body; the stocks were attached at the ends to the corner turnbuckle. Metal weights were attached to each of his ankles, so he couldn’t move his legs. And he wasn’t alone.
On Nightwing’s left was Catwoman, looking sexy and dangerous in her purple spandex outfit and sharp claws. To his right was the Riddler, dressed in his customary green-and-purple outfit. Also in the ring were Poison Ivy, lounging happily against the ropes in her green leafy bustier, and Harley Quinn, bouncing around the ring with her black-and-red domino jester’s outfit. Outside the ring was the Huntress – still wearing the Joker makeup and holding a large burlap sack – and the Joker, holding a microphone. For the first time, Batgirl felt really worried: She could take out one of them, maybe even two, but she could never stop the others from hurting Nightwing. And he was virtually immobile and unable to defend himself. She tensed, staying sharp and looking for an opportunity.
The Joker played ring announcer. “Ladies and prisoner! It’s time for the main event! In the cool kids’ corner we have the maiden of mirth, the pie in my eye, my very own puddin’ – HARLLLLLLLLEY QUINNNNNN!” A burst of recorded applause from a boom box filled the gym. “And in the other corner – unless she wants her Nightbird to get hurt – is the Batman with breasts – BATGIRRRRRLLLLL!” This time the boom box played boos and jeers. “Step on up, Battie!”
Batgirl didn’t see a choice. She ran to the ropes, did a perfect summersault, and landed in “her” corner. The Huntress climbed into the ring next to her, dragging the sack.
“This will be an easy competition, Batgirl,” explained the Joker. “If you can get to Nighty-Nightwing over there, you two can go free. If not, well, we have a surprise for you… But we can’t have you fighting without the proper attire, my red-haired slugger. Put out your arms!”
Reluctantly Batgirl stretched her arms out in front of her. The Huntress stepped up to her and, ignoring Batgirl’s whispered pleas for help, pulled out two massive yellow boxing gloves, each one about eighteen inches wide. After the Huntress put them over Batgirl’s hands, the Joker-looking heroine snapped the cuffs shut. The gloves suddenly became much heavier – magnets, speculated Batgirl – and she could barely lift her arms. Worse, the thick gloves prevented Batgirl from using anything in her utility belt. Across the ring, Harley Quinn grabbed an oversized flare gun. “So much for a fair fight,” Batgirl sighed to herself.
A loud ding! signaled the start of the fight. Harley Quinn skipped and pranced around the ring, making fake punching motions with her arms. Batgirl quickly abandoned the idea of punching, as it was a strain just to keep her arms at her side. She decided to fake helplessness, luring Harley in for a quick kick. With luck, the heroine could take out this loony lady and quickly free Nightwing before the others could react. Batgirl swayed from side to side, ready to unleash a roundhouse kick, when…
SPROING! A blast from Harley Quinn’s pistol shot a stream of confetti out towards Batgirl. One end of the strands tightened around Batgirl’s right ankle, while the others tightened around the ropes of the ring. Batgirl almost cried out in frustration, finding herself tethered to the boxing ring. She tried to maneuver as best she could from where she was, but a second shot from bound her other ring to the other ropes.
Harley moved in for the finish. The villain bounced to Batgirl’s left, and when Batgirl tried to swing at her the gloves kept her from moving little more than her shoulders. When Harley Quinn was directly behind the heroine, she gave a quick push. Batgirl’s feet slipped out as her ankles were suspended, and she was falling flat. But right before hitting the ground, Harley dropped and shot again; this time the confetti shot across the ring, snaring Batgirl’s wrists. Harley giggled as she removed the heavy yellow gloves; Batgirl struggled but couldn’t free herself from the strands; and she realized how she must look; suspended a foot above the ring, face down, her legs spread apart behind her and her hands spread in front.
“Looks like Batgirl is down, folks,” the Joker commented. “Let’s see what it takes to get her out! And let’s not let her have all the fun!” Harley left Batgirl hanging there and went over to Nightwing, joining Catwoman. Poison Ivy and the Riddler sauntered over to the suspended heroine.
“A little something to help you relax, sweetie,” Poison Ivy told Batgirl as she sprayed a floral spray in the defeated heroine’s face before throwing the sprayer to Harley Quinn. Batgirl tried to hold her breath, but the scent clung to her. Batgirl knew this must be some type of mind-altering drug and she knew she had to resist. Focusing on the situation, she looked up to Nightwing.
Harley sprayed a little of the potion in Nightwing’s face, then she and Catwoman began. Catwoman extended a finger, using the sharp claw of her index finger to make a vertical slit across Nightwing’s costume from the neck to the crotch. Then, as Catwoman began undressing, Harley grabbed his prick and began rubbing at it.
Seeing her teammate so abused was horrifying to Batgirl, but it was… also exciting? “No!” she told herself, “that’s the drug’s effect!” Batgirl closed her eyes, trying to resist the sensations the view inspired; but her ordeal had just begun. The Riddler slid underneath Batgirl, pressing his body against hers. His chest pressed against hers, and then his hands moved up, lifting up her purple costume top to reveal her support bra. From above her Poison Ivy undid the snap and yanked the bra off. Batgirl felt warm, her bare breasts moving against the Riddler’s spandex costume.
When the Riddler began pulling down the lower half of Batgirl’s costume, she tried to think of something else. She looked up at Nightwing. Catwoman, naked except for her mask, was rubbing herself against the hero’s exposed chest. Harley Quinn was rubbing his prick harder, and when she saw Batgirl look up Harley smiled wickedly and deep-throated him.
Now Batgirl’s costume was up around her armpits and down at her ankles, and the Riddler was pulling off his costume. Batgirl knew she was desperate, and she suspected her growing arousal was part of the drug. She tried to make her whole body go limp and she tried to enter a trance, disassociating herself from what was happening around her.
The trance was broken at the feel of Poison Ivy grabbing Batgirl’s ass. As the heroine tried to move away, she felt Ivy rubbing something between her buttocks. A moment later the dildo slid in, filling her rectum completely. She tried to flex, to push it out of her, but she lost control as she felt the Riddler enter her. Her body instinctively clenched around his cock, and the Riddler smiled as he moved inside her from beneath and Poison Ivy was shoving the makeshift dildo from above.
Batgirl closed her eyes and shook her head, trying to resist the sensual assault on her body. As soon as her eyes closed, though, Poison Ivy grabbed Batgirl’s long red hair and yanked it back, forcing her head up. Batgirl’s eyes opened, showing her the erotic conquest of Nightwing. By this time Catwoman had hooked her legs over the ropes, pressing her vagina against Nightwing’s face and purring with pleasure as he tongued her. At the same time Harley was stroking and licking him furiously; Nightwing’s body was twitching, as he tried to push himself against the two women.
The view heightened Batgirl’s sensations. As the Riddler fucked her harder and harder, erotic images flooded her mind. She imagined that she was Harley Quinn, pleasuring Nightwing orally, and then she was Catwoman, feeling him eat her out. She imagined that Nightwing was under her, pumping into her, and Batman was taking her from behind. Everything was happening faster and faster, and she pushed herself down on the Riddler, than up to Ivy, moaning and pleading for more. The Riddler and Poison Ivy responded with more energy, pounding her body up and down, and as Batgirl watched Nightwing climax over Harley Quinn’s tongue and moaned his climax into Catwoman Batgirl came hard. Her orgasm was followed by another as the Riddler burst in her, filling her completely, and her anus clenched around the dildo in her rear.
At some point the heroes must have been freed, but they didn’t realize it. All that Batgirl and Nightwing knew was that they needed more stimulation, more sex. And as the Joker explained his plans for some sort of party for Batman, they only listened and nodded in agreement.
* * *
PART THREE: AFTERMATH
“The trap worked purrrrrrrrfectly,” Catwoman told the cats in her apartment as she moved around, admiring her artwork and cat-themed statues. The Catwoman wasn’t sure about getting involved with the Joker and his sidekick, but she understood the Riddler much better and actually liked Poison Ivy.
When Batman got back to Gotham City, they had Batgirl and Nightwing call him with the supposed location of the Joker. Batman came prepared for the Joker and Harley Quinn. Even when the Riddler, Poison Ivy, and Catwoman appeared, Batman still held his own. But he wasn’t prepared for Nightwing to strike him from behind, or for Batgirl to slice off his utility belt. After that, they had no trouble knocking him out. It was the perfect victory of the Joker over his adversary.
At least until Catwoman nailed him with her cat-o’-nine tails.
The Joker was so busy with the Batman that he hasn’t expected a double cross. And neither he nor Harley Quinn realized that Ivy’s potion made its subjects over her first and foremost; so when she told Batgirl, Huntress, and Nightwing to take out Harley Quinn, they did so with ease.
Catwoman left the Joker and Harley tied up outside the police station, with Batman’s symbol pinned to their chest. Let the Joker tell the story of sex and betrayal: The police would just think it was more of his lunacy.
Dividing the spoils was pretty easy. The Riddler got the rights to the video of him, Ivy, and Batgirl fucking on the gym floor. Catwoman knew that this would turn Batgirl into the next Paris Hilton and make the Riddler more money than if he robbed every bank in Gotham City.
Poison Ivy got Batgirl, the Huntress, and Nightwing. Even though they were still controlled, Ivy led them away with her vines around their necks, their hands bound behind their backs. Catwoman shivered with pleasure at the thought of what Poison Ivy would do with her three new sex slaves; maybe the plant lady would like a little feline help with them at some point in the future. But for now…
Catwoman walked into her main room, admiring her prize. Batman was stretched out on the floor, the manacles stretching him out in a perfect X. His utility belt was hidden elsewhere – Catwoman had learned how dangerous that belt could be – and the ball-gag muffled whatever he was trying to say.
Catwoman smiled at him as she slowly stripped down in front of him. Leaving her mask on – she so loved the masks – she leaned over and slowly licked his lips before misting his face with Ivy’s potion.
“Mmmmm,” Catwoman moaned, stretching herself along her captive’s body. She reached into his shorts, feeling his cock harden and grow as the potion took effect. When he was sufficiently hard she pulled his penis out of his costume, letting it point to the ceiling before pressing it against him with her body. She felt him getting harder, and she placed her hands on his cheeks.
“Sorry about the gag,” she apologized, “but it’ll be off in just a minute. And then we will have so much fun. So… much… fun!” Catwoman arched her back, letting his cock spring up. She teased him, lowering her pussy just against the tip of his head but moving up when he tried to thrust into her.
Catwoman was ready. She moved her thighs together, steadying herself above him. And then, as she sank down on his cock, her thumbs pushed his mask up…