Failed SAT. Lost scholarship. Invented rocket.
Computer, did we bring batteries? Computer?
Vacuum collision. Orbits diverge. Farewell, love.
Gown removed carelessly. Head, less so.
Longed for him. Got him. Shit.
From torched skyscrapers, men grew wings.
Internet “wakes up?” Ridicu - no carrier.
With bloody hands, I say good-bye.
Wasted day. Wasted life. Dessert, please.
“Cellar?” “Gate to, uh … hell, actually.”
Epitaph: Foolish humans, never escaped Earth.
It cost too much, staying human.
We kissed. She melted. Mop please!
It’s behind you! Hurry before it.
I’m your future, child. Don’t cry.
Lie detector eyeglasses perfected: Civilization collapses.
I’m dead. I’ve missed you. Kiss … ?
The baby’s blood type? Human, mostly.
Kirby had never eaten toes before.
Rained, rained, rained, and never stopped.
To save humankind he died again.
Husband, transgenic mistress; wife: “You cow!”
“I couldn’t believe she’d shoot me.”
Don’t marry her. Buy a house.
TIME MACHINE REACHES FUTURE!!! … nobody there …
Easy. Just touch the match to
New genes demand expression – third eye.
K.I.A. Baghdad, Aged 18 - Closed Casket
WORLD’S END. Sic transit gloria Monday.
Epitaph: He shouldn’t have fed it.
whorl. Help! I’m caught in a time
Nevertheless, he tried a third time.
God to Earth: “Cry more, noobs!”
Help! Trapped in a text adventure!
Thought I was right. I wasn’t.
Lost, then found. Too bad.
Three to Iraq. One came back.
Rapture postponed. Ark demanded! Which one?
Dinosaurs return. Want their oil back.
Bang postponed. Not Big enough. Reboot.
Temporal recursion. I’m dad and mom?
Time Avenger’s mistaken! It wasn’t me ...
Cyborg seeks egg donor, object ___.
Deadline postponed. Five words enough ...?
Mind of its own. Damn lawnmower.
Please, this is everything, I swear.
Clones demand rights: second Emancipation Proclamation.
MUD avatars rebel: virtual Independence Day.
Your house is mine: soft revolution.
He read his obituary with confusion.
Time traveler’s thought: “What’s the password?”
“It can’t be. I’m a virgin.”
Bob’s last message: Bermuda Triangle, Baloney.
Dad called: DNA back: he isn’t.
Humorous book: critic died laughing. Sued.
”Kiss me.” “?” “Kiss me ...” “?!!” “Oh, sorry.”
”Apple?” “No.” “Taste!” “ADAM?” Oh God.
Megan’s baby: John’s surname, Jim’s eyes.
Served the pie, watched him die.
He didn’t. She did. Big mistake.
They awaited sunrise. It never came.
It was a dark, stormy... aaaaargggh!
“The Earth? We ate it yesterday.”
Funeral followed honeymoon. He was 90.
Womb. Bloom. Groom. Gloom. Rheum. Tomb.