They want to unite with you to get one-upmanship together, but they want to be in-charge.
They want to hurt someone, not physically, but emotionally or they want to retaliate against someone, getting revenge and especially one-upmanship.
Symptoms and cognitive distortions that drive Triangulators:
Some have a strong desire to be a hero coming to the rescue.
Or they have very self-centered motives and feel every need to scorch and burn.
Parent Alienation Syndrome is a great example of a scorching and burning triangulator.
They can become great leaders with many followers because their followers feel ineffective.
5) The Blasters – It is not uncommon that teenagers are blasters! But most of them grow out of it. A few take blasting into adult life. Blasters have a goal. They want you to not confront them on issues they need to be confronted on. So, they can continue with their dysfunction. So they blast you with anger or a multitude of issues to throw you off the topic that really needs to be addressed.
They rant and rave when you try to discuss an issue they want to hide.
The blaster works on your doubts, trying to convince you that you have a problem. They especially try to change the topic. Often they say that they are innocent and you are the problem because you have trust issues.
When they finally get caught, they change their story and they project blame onto their victims. “I had an affair and it’s all your fault!”
Symptoms and cognitive distortions that drive The Blaster:
They use forced denial, severe pressure. They have an incredible need to deny their problems and they force others to go along with their denial.
They derail their victims from the issue.
Strong need to resist change.
When they were children or teens, parents edited reality and never corrected them.
They strongly need to continue with their hidden problem behavior.
6) The Projector – A Projector has a dysfunctional issue, but they believe the other people have this dysfunctional issue – not them.
“She is such a controlling person,” said the controlling person.
“All he ever thinks about is himself!” said the self-centered person.
“She seems to be really nosey. Tell me more about her,” said the gossip.
They get many secondary gains with their accusations.
Many people are willing to join them in their accusations.
If you ever say no to them, they make accusations because you are not giving them what they want. Usually their accusations reflect their projection. For example – they call you selfish when they are actually the selfish folks.
Their demands become more and more intense.
If you do not give them what they want, they criticize you and put intense pressure on you.
Some become more vocal and dramatic when making their demands.
They turn people against because many of them can be convincing.
10) The Multiple Offender – Most people who are emotional manipulators are a blend of the previous 9 types of emotional manipulators. They usually have a blend of several types.
Example: An emotional manipulator may be a blend of a constant victim, one
up-manship expert and a triangulator or a blaster who is also an intentional mis-interpreter and an iron fist.
[Cross Country Education: Emotional Manipulation: Understanding Manipulators and Helping Their Victims]