The tale of the lover



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The tale of the lover
Page 1
Panel 1

Establishing shot of the Two Headed Rat. It is morning, and the docks surrounding the tavern are slowly coming to life, the early-morning sun illuminating the wreckage of the night which has just ended: bottles and food debris are scattered around, along with a few comatose bodies.


Text Box:

The Two Headed Rat in Azkaheim is a notorious place, known far and wide for its ales, its pestilent victuals, and the unpredictable nature of its customers…


Text Box:

Some come to drink, some come to brawl, and some to plot and scheme…


Panel 2

Close up shot of a fairly gruesome lady; a plump, middle-aged matron with ruddy cheeks and a few missing teeth. She is wearing a cook’s outfit (being of that profession) with an apron and white cloth cap from under which coils of dark ringlets are spilling out. Reminiscent of a pantomime dame in that she is a buxom wench, rather than a wizened old crone. Looks as if she could throw her (considerable) weight around if needs be.


She is standing on the threshold of the main door to the bar, looking in, on the cusp of making her entrance. What she is witnessing has obviously caught her by surprise, and she is looking on in dismay, her mouth hanging open and her lip curled in disgust.
Text box:

…whilst others aspire to chat up members of the fairer sex.

Panel 3

We take a POV to the left of the woman, allowing us to see both her profile and the interior of the bar, which she is surveying, hands on her ample hips. It is an utter wreck, with smashed furniture, pools of evil-looking liquid on the floor, some suspicious-looking dark stains on the walls, and a part of the bar which has been bitten off by someone with a rather large set of teeth.

The barman is glumly mopping the floor, having looked up to see who has come in. The place is deserted save for a barbarian fighter fallen on hard times who is nursing a flagon of ale and a wizened, toothless, white-haired wreck of an old man who is sat slumped at the bar.
Dialogue:

Woman: “Fafnir’s teeth! This place is a right old mess! What was it this time? Now don’t tell me, don’t tell me, let me guess…”


Panel 4

First in a sequence of four head-and-shoulders shots of the barman – who looks annoyed.


Dialogue:

Woman (speech balloon from off-panel): “Was it mercenaries brawling?”

Barman: “No.”
Panel 5

Barman starts to look shifty and embarrassed.


Dialogue:

Woman (speech balloon from off-panel): “Was it Halflings?”

Barman: “No.”
Panel 6

Barman looks more uncomfortable.


Dialogue:

Woman (speech balloon from off-panel): “It wasn’t your brother-in-law’s lot again was it?”

Barman: “No!”
Panel 7

Barman looks even more uncomfortable.


Dialogue:

Woman (speech balloon from off-panel): “Well what in the name of the Dark One was it then?”

Barman: “You’re not gonna believe this…”
Page 2
Panel 1

Shot of the barman leaning heavily on his mop, looking as if he wished the earth would swallow him up.


Dialogue:

Barman: “…it was ladies night.”


Panel 2

The woman looks astonished and is gesticulating her disbelief with her hands whilst the barman is holding his hands up in despair, palms open, eyes raised up to the heavens.


Dialogue:

Woman: “Ladies night?!? After what happened last time?”

Barman: “I know, I know, but those warrior-women are big spenders…well they’re big drinkers, so they’d have to be. Place was packed to the rafters…”

Panel 3

Cut back to the night before, when ladies night is in full swing. The barman is the only man in the place, with the tavern full to bursting with a quite astonishing variety of female sorts – elvish ladies, dwarf women, a range of humans (warriors, priestesses, cutthroats, merchants and pirates), pale vampiric-looking types, mysterious cloaked figures, old crones, gypsies and townswomen.


Not every lady should look svelte and potentially titillating: there should be a range of body types and physiques, some being squat and bulky, with others at the other end of the spectrum looking emaciated and wraith-like.
The drink is flowing and the barman is working feverishly to serve all his customers.
Text box:

“…I was rakin’ it in…”


Panel 4

A disreputable-looking freebooter-type with a cloak, thigh-length boots, eye patch and a scar to match (pretty though, with tresses of long dark hair tumbling over her shoulders) is leaning on the bar, drunk, dark wine dribbling out of her goblet onto the already sodden bar surface. She is talking to the barman as he is busy serving a pair of elf women, who are drinking flagons of ale.


Barman is wearing a stern, wary expression.
Dialogue:

Freebooter: “Sho…ish there any chance of shome men around here tonight?”

Barman: “No, and don’t you go askin’ again, neither. Don’t want no trouble. You know as well as I do some of the types in ‘ere tonight.”
Panel 5

Shot of especially disreputable, evil-looking bunch sat in a dark, dingy corner, all ‘looking into the camera’ in an appraising, hungry manner. One or two of the more vampiric ones should be portrayed.

Text Box:

“Now, ladies nights hereabouts tends as to attract types with certain…appetites…but all’s well and good as long as they don’t get over-excited. Not the safest of places for a man to be.”

Panel 6

Cut to an exterior shot of a man standing in an alleyway looking up at a small open window out of which light is spilling. The man – illuminated by the full moon behind him – is very handsome and is dressed in a flamboyant, dashing, raffish outfit. He should evoke the archetypal Romeo figure rather than a warrior or man-at-arms.


Text Box:

“But I s’pose this one thought he was a real lady-killer.”


Page 3
Panel 1

The Lover climbs in the window – we can see him from behind. He is halfway through, his legs dangling down from the opening, reaching for footholds on the tavern wall.


Text Box:

“I really thought I’d gotten the anti-male hexes sorted out good an’ proper this time…”


Panel 2

Close up of the door to the women’s privy. It should be a roughly-hewn wooden door (complete with know-holes) with an iconic sign reminiscent of the ‘woman’ sign on the door of a contemporary female toilet door, but adapted to the time and place in which our story is set – so perhaps the figure should have the costume of a princess, or a serving wench.


Text Box:

“…but I must have forgotten to apply ‘em somewhere…”


Panel 3

The Lover sneaks out of the toilet door, a cunning, confident look on his face.


Text Box:

“He was an out-of-towner, a handsome rogue out to charm the womenfolk and pocket some gold, no doubt. From Skarsgard, I s’pose. Must ‘ave thought he’d break some hearts.”

Panel 4

Cut to an enormous melee in the tavern, a battle of all against all. At the epicentre of it is the Lover, sat cowering under a table with his hands hiding his head. The battle surrounds the Lover, and he is obviously the prize over which the woman are fighting.

Text Box:

“Well, t’wasn’t hearts that got broken. Some of ‘em ‘adn’t seen a man in years. It was a right old free-for-all.”


Panel 5

Cut back to present – the barman is finishing his story. We can see that the woman is listening to him – curious as to how the story ends. The Barbarian and the old man are in view in the background, propped up against the bar.


Dialogue:

Barman: “It was terrible. I’ve never seen anything like it.”

Woman: “So what became of him?”
Panel 6

Barman jerks his thumb back over his shoulder to indicate the old man.


Dialogue:

Barman: “I’m waiting for the Almshouse to come and pick him up.”


END






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