The Well Cultured Anonymous


The Well Cultured Anonymous/Coworkers and Friends

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The Well Cultured Anonymous/Coworkers and Friends

Interacting with Coworkers

If you have a job, it's pretty important that you stay on good terms with your coworkers, seeing as you have to see them every day. It's not hard to make your coworkers think you're a decent person. When you see them, make eye contact and give them a friendly smile. When you come into work, smile and say "good morning" to them. If you are going to talk to them, try to avoid saying creepy things. Your coworkers probably do not care about lolis or memes. Instead ask them about their family and things like that. People love to talk about their kids, if they have any. Even if you have very little in common with someone, you can almost always carry on a conversation if you ask them about their kids. However, don't ask them about their kids too much or else they'll start looking at you funny. Try to avoid being annoying. It's better to talk too little than to talk too much.

Also, try to avoid workplace drama. Mind your own business. Don't talk shit on anyone, even if you really want to. Yet another Anon's perspective :Actually, no. Don't get INVOLVED in workplace drama, but pay attention to what's going on, who is getting shit on during coffee machine chit-chat. You don't want to be(friend) the circle jerk.


Making Friends


Friends are important. Friends, especially good friends, are pillars of support in times of need or whatever. They're your partners in crime and members of your proverbial team.

Friends are also beneficial when browsing members of the opposite sex. Women tend to congregate in groups, making it harder to single someone out to strike up a conversation with. Therefore, when you approach a group of 3 to 6 women with a marginally equal number of friends, the situation becomes a lot easier.

So it's paramount that you have some. You can have all the arrogance and pizazz in the world, but if you're a loner that can all be canceled out quickly.

Picking Friends

Coworkers and fellow students (if you're at high-school or college) are great for making friends with, especially those in the same or similar classes to you, as you're much more likely to get on with each other. There are some things to look for in potential friends. One important feature is Common Interests.

Assuming you've had friends before, you may already know that groups/circles of friends tend to be composed of people with at least one common interest or ideal, or with similar artistic/musical taste. Most of the time, this won't matter as much, since unless you and your friends are obsessive nerds that concentrate solely on one subject at any given time, you'll have a lot more to talk about that isn't necessarily relevant to your interests. Therefore, it might be a good idea to keep an open mind when approaching new people. Everyone has at least one thing interesting about them, it just takes time to figure out what it actually is. You'll just have to muss up the courage to talk to someone.


Kill Stealing


Sometimes, leveling up can be a time consuming and, quite frankly, retarded system. Kill stealing was invented to get around this. If you are unwilling to screw other people over and probably never speak to them again, stop reading here. Kill stealing is not for pussies, and should only be attempted if you are at least two levels above everyone in your group, or five levels if you are in a PVP area.

The purpose of kill stealing is to get a large amount of experience from a much tougher opponent without sharing anything. In order to do this, you must first identify a difficult opponent, one that you would absolutely require a group in order to have any hope of defeating. This could be a boss, a really hot feminist, or that really faggy next door neighbor. Identifying a tough target is critical, because you want to maximize XP gain and minimize the amount of work you actually have to do.

Next, you need a trustworthy and gullable group of people less awesome than you that you are willing to sacrifice for the XP. A group of five to seven other members is preferable, but in some cases more or less can be used (remember, if you have too few, you will all die, and if you have too many, you may not be able to disband the group quick enough, or, in PVP areas, survive the revenge attack that will undoubtably result). Make sure you are completely detached from these people. The last thing you want to do is to pussy out at the last minute because your "feelings" got in the way (and, at worst, someone else might try to kill steal from you and succeed).

Finally, you need to execute the plan. If your goal is to get into some woman's pants, make sure everyone in the group knows the objective. Make it seem as though everyone will benefit from achieving this goal ("If we get this girl, we can do that gangbang video you guys wanted!) If they are completely brainwashed, tell them nothing at all about the objective and make them do whatever you feel gets you closer to your objective (this is the ideal condition, but it almost never happens). Here's the twist: make sure your group does stuff that is counter-productive. You can join in on this a little bit, but try to stay detached from your group and do as little as possible. When the objective appears to be almost down, (she's getting ready to leave in disgust, the boss is getting ready to fire you all, etc.) abandon your group and do things that are productive. Kiss ass, play devil's advocate, and deny any serious association with your group. If at all possible, leave the zone as quickly as possible with your target.

This is proven to be the most effective means of getting XP and standing from powerful NPCs. PCs may hate you, but hey, they're paying the monthy fee to keep you kill stealing over and over.

The Well Cultured Anonymous/College

High School


Education is more important than it sounds. The trick to getting through High School and graduating depends on what kind of person you are. Here are a few subgroups:(please ignore any sweeping generalizations)

Before you Read


Unless you were a superstar or in denial, high school was a total shit time for all of us. Ask any college student, current or graduated, and they'll agree. High school sucks. HOWEVER. Do not let any of it get to you. After you leave, there's a good chance you will never see the assholes and skanks at your school again. You can pretty much start over in college. Were you a dork in high school, and never got any women? You can change that all around in college.

Seriously. Don't let any of the crap that happens to you in high school get to you.


Reasons to Graduate HS


Freaks/Goths/Emo: Generally you view school with something below pessimism. It's stupid, it's idiotic, etc. etc. Well, just think of the incentives of graduating. First, no repeating grades. Why wait till you are 18 to drop out, spend time getting a GED and working at McDonalds/Wendy's? Graduate, have a high school degree and get a better paying job. All that shit the counselors tell you about making more cash with a HS Degree is true.

Nerds/Geeks/Dorks: Generally you view school with either borderline optimism or borderline indifference. You already know the benefits of graduating, so I won't preach about those.

Trades

Become a plumber. Check the finances if you doubt this advice. The only downside to becoming a tradey is smelling like shit if you don't wash, and missing out on four years of sex less impressive than that in Rules of Attraction.

College


College is a Septic name for an adult day care centre. SRSLY.

College is however, another step needed to get a job that pays well. If you want to go the route of going to a University, but are hesitant about the whole experience, I recommend going to community college first. I know it seems lame, but it has its benefits. It's a step between high school and a university, and it will help you with your transition in the lifestyle. Community college is also *generally* pretty easy as far as the work load. The teachers also treat you as more of a person, at a University, you're a number. If you're having trouble with a subject, it's often easier to get support. Take a warning however, BE SURE YOUR CREDITS WILL TRANSFER! There's no point in going to school just to waste time, unless you're finding yourself or some other hippie bullshit.

Remember, high school is not college. Your teachers won't care if you try to be a bad ass, don't turn in your work, or if you skip out on class. Many schools will simply drop you from the class if you don't show up enough.

The logistical reasons are also pretty sweet. You normally have a flexible schedule, such as day/night classes a few days a week. It's also much cheaper than a university, it makes sense to spend two years paying a cheap price, and two paying out the ass, than all four out the ass.


University


University is the name for an institution which offers degrees in a variety of fields. Usually you can do a degree which is enjoyable, or financially viable, or neither. It is impossible to find a degree which is both. However, university is really an opportunity to develop nepotism networks which will result in your future employment. For those of you who believe you'll go onto research, read phdcomics.com.

The Well Cultured Anonymous/College/Christian Hell

The following article is aimed at surviving short periods at Christian colleges/Universities, especially when you're put there for various tournaments, games, or other things your Uni might put you through. This is something that is becoming more prevalent, and one too many good students have gone fucking nuts here. So, if you're about to deal with one of these colleges, this is for you.

Christian Colleges/Universities are a unique entity in that they exist only in America, generally to piss the non-Christian population of the world off. These places are famous for two key things- their lack of any kind of education quality, and their overbearing neo-conservative nutjob views involving religion. Tied together, you have a generation of graduates who are neo-conservative Christian nutjobs who will attempt to convince you why you're an evil person. Simply put, they are fucking crazy.

I'm writing this because as a kid, I was home schooled and drug to these places as a plan on getting Homeschoolers into college. We could get our ass into any Uni in the fucking country, but a handful of crazy-ass Christfags in high positions of Homeschooling power in various states forced us into this bullshit for up to two weeks at a time. Because of that, I can give you first hand accounts of why every time I take a psychological test I come out as "Sociopathic" --WikiSysop 22:35, 7 March 2007 (CST)


Christian Colleges in the US

There are FAR too many Christian Univerisities in the US to name. This is because they spread like weeds, infecting every state like a poison that won't go away. However, for the sake of the article, I'll point out some of the major colleges/universities as examples (mainly the ones that I've been to or are especially buttfucking crazy).

Liberty University

Liberty University (was gonna be called Falwell University until they figured out the letters would be FU) is a college started by Jerry Falwell that aims to be a center for Christfag crazies. Unlike Patrick Henry College (below), LU spends the majority of it's time churning out people with absolutely useless degrees in underwater basketweaving, most of whom go home and work in blue collar jobs they could have worked at anyway.

So, here's the fun part: OFFICIAL LIBERTY UNIVERSITY RULES


  • No music that is not approved by the University. That includes rock, rap, R&B, oldschool rock, and basically anything but Christian music- and some of that is banned too.

  • No movies over a G rating unless authorized by the University- and they don't do such a thing often. This includes going to movie theaters.

  • Under the age of 21, you must have parental permission to marry or date.

  • Mandatory Church service. Every day. And that doesn't count "actual" Church service, which you must also attend- and you sign in, so no skipping.

  • Just read the Men's Dress Code on your own for lulz (http://www.liberty.edu/index.cfm?PID=1335)

  • And the women's, while you're at it. (http://www.liberty.edu/index.cfm?PID=7764)

  • The only appropriate form of touching between anyone (including those dating) is hand holding. And that's it.

  • Liberty University prohibits accessing, downloading, receiving, distributing, transmitting, storing, displaying, viewing, printing, or producing pornography. Blue balls for everyone.

This place is fucking crazy. See below.

Patrick Henry College

Patrick Henry College is close to my heart as the place that affirms every single stereotype of the "Crazy Christian". Consisting of five buildings the size of houses (I'm not exaggerating), the college exists as a hell hole for every single neo-conservative Christfag that ever had "Homeschooler" in their CV.

Why? Because Patrick Henry College is a self-proclaimed future army of God (self proclaimed as they are not even an accredited college), and apparently they intend to arm themselves with kids that learned from their parents at home. Their ultimate goal is actually rather blatant: they are attempting to feed these people directly into internships and other positions in the United States Government. Why? Because they intend to turn the United States into a fundamentally Christian nation again. I'm not shitting you: read the articles on them or listen to the speeches by Michael Farris to find out.

Now, Patrick Henry has a host of laws that I personally blame for making me go crazy. All of these that I'm listing below- every single fucking one- applies to students, teachers, and all people visiting. Prepare to shit bricks.


OFFICIAL PATRICK HENRY COLLEGE RULES


  • Absolutely no guy-girl dancing of any kind is allowed (Presumably, guy-guy is fine, hur hur).

  • While not explicitly listed out in the rules, you can (and will) be kicked out for swearing (Trust me, when I walked in and said "What the fuck is this shit", they were not pleased)

  • Kissing, teasing, flirtation, porn, or basically anything related to sex (including books or the like) is forbidden.

  • All dating you do will be reported to your parents or legal guardians, and they must give consent to the relationship.

  • Students and all faculty must sign a contract agreeing to all tenants of Christianity, including some that may go against specific denominations or faiths.

  • Because the college is shit poor, the only sports on campus are "Liberty Ball" (Football/Soccer/whateveryoucallit) and Frisbee and the like. You want some good College Hoops or pigskin action? Fuck your shit. Jesus died on the cross for you, and Basketball is from the devil.

  • All of this is tagged along with a nice old curfew- lights out.

So, with this being said, you will go crazy quick. Thus, read below for fun ways to make your time there enjoyable.


How to Cope

A Well Cultured Anon is someone who should be well cultured in life, and thus try to be a good person and such- or at least appear to be. However, situations like this in college require special handling. In fact, they require outright anarchy. Your goal, when even visiting or seeing any of these schools (such as going to one for a debate tournament), should be to survive, and make your mark there.

So, first off understand that you must be devious when you do "bad" things. Blatant things will get you kicked out of the campus, which is the end of the game. Therefore, the game of "fucking with Christian colleges" is like Grand Theft Auto- keep your stars down, and your actual crime level up.

Fun things to do


  • Hit on girls. Believe it or not, they're desperate. And easy. Because the guys are too pure to try to tap it.

  • Dick with IT. For example, ping lewd messages in URL form (such as "ping fuckyouguys.com") and watch as the IT guys run in and try to find out who did it. Protip: Do it on a nearby computer, but not one you have been assigned. There's a ton of stuff you can do in this realm, such as:

  • Blatantly browsing porn in front of faculty

  • Bookmarking random porn websites or 4chan or something

  • Going on their special accounts (such as LexisNexis) and canceling the account or adding services

  • Going to this very website. Even though it didn't exist when I did it, I'm sure they'll call in the psychology department to figure out what's up with our Incest section.

  • Teaching especially pure people bad things, such as to flash "The Shocker" to people as a fun Christ-loving sign, waiting until someone explains to them what "Two in the pink, one in the stink" actually means.

  • Swearing like a sailor. Watch them go pale.

  • Acting homosexual. Like above, they go pale and get VERY scared.

  • Interrupting prayer or chapel services with "When is it over?". Warning: You get kicked out for this, but it's totally for the lulz.

  • Making sexual advances on the girls. Like I said, they're horny anyway. Just go up to one and grab a good old handful of tit.

  • Threatening people. For the lulz.


The Well Cultured Anonymous/Work

Getting A Job

Foot in the Door

It's always, always useful to kiss ass with your parents co-workers, former co-workers, university profs, frat alumns, and all sorts of different people who can take your resume and send it along to someone who needs an intern. If you need to bring the subject up, perhaps do something like this: 'You': Yeah, I'm starting my th year in , but I'm looking for something to occupy myself this summer. You wouldn't happen to know of anyone who is looking to hire someone? 'Target': Actually, send me your resume and I might be able to find something for you. Success! Just be sure to let anyone and everyone know that you're looking for work and don't intend to live life as a hobo.

The Resume


This is the most important part of your work application. First of all, don't be afraid to be narcissistic. You're advertising yourself. Have you ever watched those infomercials late at night on the TV and said "I don't know who the hell would ever consider buying this shit."? You have to sell that shit. You are selling 'shit' to 'arab traders', make it look 'good'. HOWEVER Do not lie. If you lie, they will catch you, and they will make you look like a fool. Make yourself seem better than you are, but don't make yourself better than you are, got it? 'Things you should include:'

  • 'Past work experience' Your past jobs, past volunteer activities, anything relevant to field experience

  • 'Edumacation' Where you learned you a book and when and what you majored in.

  • 'Special Skills' This is where you can lie your ass off


The Interview


'To-Do'

¯/(º_o)\¯Note:



The First Day


Making a good impression on the first day of working at a new job, sadly, is more important than months of good working after. First impressions are everything.

1. Be polite! If someone bumps into you, do not start spouting off insults. Apologize, then keep working.

2. I know its hard, but refrain from spouting off /b/ memes at your job. You WILL eventually slip and make a joke about "nigras" or "Bix Nood" in front of a black customer, or something along those lines. That is a surefire way to throw away your career.

From a woman's perspective.

Protip: you're not a "nice guy", you're just a pussy who pretends to be friends with a girl while secretly wanting to fuck her and expecting her to read your mind and know that you want to be something more than friends.

Girls do not reject "nice guys" in favor of "assholes", they reject guys who misrepresent their feelings in favor of confident & honest guys.


From a man's perspective.

Women run on emotion. Don't bother trying to be a nice guy, that's not what they want. They want someone who will inspire emotion in them, it does not even matter what kind as long as its strays from pity and that end of the spectrum. So piss them off, accuse them of things they never did, confuse them with private thoughts that they have no insight towards, make them laugh if you feel like it. The emotions are the key, that is what makes them want to "get to know you" keep the woman emotional through this process and she will begin to desire you. Be careful of how early this starts, if you don't let their emotions overwhelm them then they begin to worry about what others will think and will leave. You have to give them enough different feelings to where you are all they "need".

If you ever give them the feeling that you are feeding off their emotions then they will leave you for someone else. All women are succubi.

About the Book

The Well Cultured Anonymous/Authors


The following is a list of authors, editors, and helpers who have done work on The Well Cultured Anonymous. These are people who have contributed in some way to making this e-book thing a reality, and have worked hard to pull in information from websites like 4chan and 7chan to ensure that you have a singular source of information. Thank these people at your own discretion.

Alphabetical Order of Authors


  • Achan

  • Aphextwin

  • Appellation

  • Berserker

  • Bluith

  • Cosa Nostra

  • Eaglewolf

  • Frostleaf

  • GG

  • Hark

  • Java378
  • Master Thief-117


  • Ninja337

  • Orion

  • Over9000

  • RKERONESKE

  • Sarafan

  • SonicDragonwerkz

  • Triple Chan Soul

  • WikiSysop

Note from editor:

That’s it, didn’t take too long but I still feel an accomplishment.

Anyways, I think every troll lurking in /b/ all over the *chans should read this book, even the normal /b/tards should.

-- DoobiRaze 01:27, 20 March 20, 2007


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